丰隆道：“我明白。小夭，你真的愿意嫁给我吗？”

    小夭看向丰隆：“你是觉得尴尬麻烦，心里后悔吗？”

    丰隆赶忙摆手：“不、不，你别误会，璟的事我知道怎么处理，我是怕你听了璟今夜的琴声，心里后悔。”

    小夭道：“我不后悔。我从小流落在外，一直在漂泊，看上去，随波逐流，很是洒脱，可其实，我真的厌烦了漂泊不定的日子，我想停驻。可我遇到的人，有心的无力，有力的无心，只有你肯为我提供一个港湾，让我停下。谢谢！”

Fenglong said, “I understand. Xiaoyao, are you really willing to marry me?”

Xiaoyao looked at Fenglong and asked, “Are you feeling awkward or regretting it?”

Fenglong quickly waved his hand, “No, no, don’t misunderstand. I know how to handle the situation with Jing. I’m just worried that after hearing Jing play the qin tonight, you might regret it.”

Xiaoyao replied, “I don’t regret it. I’ve been wandering since I was young, drifting from place to place. On the surface, it may seem like I’ve been going with the flow, carefree, but in truth, I’m really tired of this unsettled life. I want to find a place to stop. But the people I’ve met—those with the heart lack the strength, and those with the strength lack the heart. Only you are willing to offer me a safe harbor, a place where I can finally rest. Thank you!”

长相思第35章 满院春风，惆怅墙东(4)

 自从小夭订婚后，俊帝就命人准备嫁妆，一切都已准备好，小夭唯一需要做的就是穿上嫁衣出嫁。但俊帝要求，在昭告天下婚期前，小夭必须回五神山，在五神山待嫁。

    小夭明白父王的意思，并不是因为出嫁的礼仪，父王对那些不看重。此时的父王不再是运筹帷幄的帝王，他只是一个普通的父亲，为女儿紧张担忧，他想最后再确定一次女儿的心意，确定丰隆是女儿想托付一生的男人。

Since Xiaoyao’s engagement, Emperor Jun had ordered people to prepare her dowry. Everything was ready; the only thing left for Xiaoyao to do was to don her wedding dress and get married. However, Emperor Jun insisted that before the wedding date was announced to the world, Xiaoyao must return to Wushen Mountain and wait there for her wedding.

Xiaoyao understood her father’s intentions. It wasn’t due to the wedding customs, as her father didn’t care much about those. At this moment, her father was no longer the calculating emperor but just an ordinary father, anxious and worried for his daughter. He wanted to make one final confirmation of his daughter’s feelings, to be sure that Fenglong was truly the man she wished to spend her life with.

长相思第42章 追往事，空惨愁颜(2)

…她心平气和地说：“相柳说，你给了他很多钱，雇他去阻止我嫁给丰隆。”  
“是我做的，不过我没想到相柳会行事那么极端。”

    “你为什么要这么做？”

    “那日，你在青丘街头告诉我你要成婚了，可你的眼睛里没有一丝喜悦，我不明白，没有人逼迫你，你为什么要逼自己嫁给丰隆。我……我没有办法让你这样嫁给丰隆。我求丰隆取消婚礼，丰隆拒绝了我。我想去找你，可我很清楚只会火上浇油，正百般无奈时，恰好碰到防风邶。我想起，你说过你承诺为相柳做一件事，作为解蛊的代价。颛顼登基后，共工的军队粮草紧缺，于是我和相柳谈了一笔买卖，买下了你许给他的那个承诺，让他去要求你取消婚礼，但我真的没有想到他会在婚礼上要你兑现诺言，是我大意了。小夭，对不起！”


She calmly said, “Xiangliu said you gave him a lot of money to hire him to stop me from marrying Fenglong.”
“It was me who did it, but I never thought Xiangliu would take such extreme actions.”

“Why did you do it?”

“That day, you told me on the streets of Qingqiu that you were getting married, but there wasn’t a trace of joy in your eyes. I didn’t understand—no one was forcing you, so why were you forcing yourself to marry Fenglong? I… I couldn’t let you marry him like that. I begged Fenglong to call off the wedding, but he refused. I wanted to come to you, but I knew it would only make things worse. Just when I was at a loss, I ran into Fangfeng Bei. I remembered that you had said you owed Xiangliu a favor in exchange for breaking the poisonous bug. After Zhuanxu ascended the throne, Gonggong’s army was facing food shortages, so I struck a deal with Xiangliu. I bought the promise you made to him and had him ask you to cancel the wedding. But I truly didn’t expect him to demand you fulfill that promise during the wedding itself—that was my carelessness. Xiaoyao, I’m sorry!”

长相思第46章 风不定，人初静(1)

   璟说：“之前，我和你说对不起，但现在我收回对不起，我一点不后悔，即使相柳用了那种极端的方式，闹得整个大荒不得安宁，我依旧很高兴没有让你嫁给丰隆。”

    “你……混账！”小夭边哭，边打他。

    璟心中竟透出一丝甜蜜：“我一直都是混账！”

Jing said, “Before, I told you I was sorry, but now I take it back. I don’t regret it at all. Even though Xiangliu used such extreme methods, throwing the entire Great Wilderness into turmoil, I’m still glad I didn’t let you marry Fenglong.”

“You… scoundrel!” Xiaoyao cried as she hit him.

Jing’s heart unexpectedly felt a touch of sweetness. “I’ve always been a scoundrel!”

长相思第46章 风不定，人初静(1)

十七心里想，只怕小夭小时候的容貌就是假的，如果她从一出生就是假的容貌，俊帝或者轩辕王姬必定用了大神通，或者借助某件神器，才能让完全没有灵气的婴儿有假容貌，还不被任何人识破，可是为什么呢？异常举动背后必定有秘密，他们应该是想保护小夭。十七慢慢地说：“我也不知道，应该去问俊帝陛下，也许他知道。”

Shiqi thought to himself, it’s likely that Xiaoyao’s appearance as a child was fake. If her appearance had been false since birth, Emperor Jun or Princess Xuanyuan must have used great magic or a powerful artifact to give a newborn without any spiritual energy a false face that no one could see through. But why? There must be a secret behind such an unusual act—they were probably trying to protect Xiaoyao. Shiqi slowly said, “I don’t know either, we should probably ask His Majesty Emperor Jun. Maybe he knows.”

长相思第24章 眉间心上，无计相回避(3)

行完礼后，璟说：“我们可以决定很多事情，却无法决定自己的父母，不要因为自己无法决定的事折磨自己。”

After paying their respects, Jing said, “We can decide many things, but we can’t choose our parents. Don’t torment yourself over things you can’t control.”

长相思第8章 此身出何处(3)

  “我想带小夭出去走一走。”

    黄帝沉吟不语，璟说：“我知道陛下担心小夭的安全，但小夭不可能永远躲在神农山。这几个月来，小夭把丢掉的箭术又捡了起来，也一直在炼制各种毒药，一点自保之力是有的。”

    黄帝叹道：“我一直知道圈养的是羔羊，雄鹰一定要放养，也一直希望我的子孙都是雄鹰。可也许年纪大了，总是不放心。”

……
  颛顼听闻小夭要和璟出去游玩，不同意，可黄帝已经答应了小夭和璟。小夭又不停地央求颛顼，颛顼无可奈何下，只得放行，条件是小夭必须带潇潇和苗莆随行。

“I would like to take Xiaoyao out for a sightseeing trip.”

The Yellow Emperor pondered in silence, and Jing said, “I know Your Majesty is worried about Xiaoyao’s safety, but she can’t hide on Shennong Mountain forever. Over the past few months, she’s picked up her lost archery skills and has been refining various poisons. She has some ability to protect herself.”

The Yellow Emperor sighed, “I’ve always known that lambs are meant to be sheltered, while eagles must be free. I’ve always hoped my descendants would be eagles. But perhaps as I’ve grown older, I can’t help but worry.”

…..
When Zhuanxu heard that Xiaoyao was going sightseeing with Jing, he disagreed. However, the Yellow Emperor had already given his permission to Xiaoyao and Jing. Xiaoyao kept pleading with Zhuanxu, and with no other choice, he reluctantly agreed, on the condition that Xiaoyao must bring Xiaoxiao and Miaopu along.

长相思第9章 花开花谢故人别(1)

 璟跪下，行大礼：“璟谢过陛下对小夭的关爱保护。”
璟是涂山氏的族长，见到黄帝和俊帝只需行天揖礼，无须行跪拜礼，他现在却向俊帝跪拜。

    俊帝无丝毫动容，抬了抬手，示意他坐：“族长专程来见我，就是说这些废话的吗？”

    璟坐下后，说道：“小夭知道自己是蚩尤的女儿后，一直很悲痛，现如今看似平静了，其实只是用外表的不在乎掩饰内心的在乎。陛下知道小夭是什么性子，她并不在乎自己的父亲是帝王还是魔头，她伤心的是不管母亲，还是父亲，都遗弃了她，留给她的只是谎言。还有一份她不肯承认的伤心，是因为蚩尤。蚩尤是她的父亲，可她对蚩尤的了解和天下人一样，只知道他是暴虐嗜杀的魔头。这世间，知道小夭父母之事的人只有陛下了。陛下，我求您把过去的事告诉小夭。”

    俊帝的右手无意识地摸着左手小指上的白骨指环，视线越过璟的头顶，不知道落在了何处，无喜无怒的表情并没有变化，可因为眼神的空茫，透出了沉重的悲怆。半晌后，他自言自语地说：“阿珩真的想让小夭知道一切吗？我一直以为阿珩想让小夭无忧无虑地生活。”

    “从小夭出生起，就注定她不可能如阿念一般。现在小夭已经长大了，不管真相多么残忍，都请告诉小夭，唯有真相才能让小夭解开心结，获得平静。”

Jing knelt and performed a grand bow, saying, “Jing thanks Your Majesty for the care and protection extended to Xiaoyao.” As the clan leader of Tushan, Jing usually only needed to perform a heavenly salute when meeting the Yellow Emperor and Emperor Jun, but now he was kneeling to Emperor Jun.

Emperor Jun remained impassive and raised his hand, signaling Jing to sit. “Is this why the clan leader came all this way, to speak such nonsense?”

Once seated, Jing said, “Since Xiaoyao learned she is the daughter of Chi You, she has been deeply sorrowful. Though she appears calm now, it’s merely a facade to mask her inner turmoil. Your Majesty knows Xiaoyao’s nature; she doesn’t care whether her father was an emperor or a demon. What hurts her is that both her mother and father abandoned her, leaving only lies behind. And there’s another sorrow she refuses to admit—because of Chi You. Chi You is her father, but she knows about him as everyone else does, only that he was a cruel and murderous demon. The only person in the world who knows about Xiaoyao’s parents is Your Majesty. I beg you, Your Majesty, to tell Xiaoyao the truth about the past.”

Emperor Jun absentmindedly touched the bone ring on his left little finger, his gaze drifting over Jing’s head to an unknown point. His expression remained unchanged, but his vacant eyes revealed a heavy sadness. After a while, he murmured to himself, “Does Ah Heng really want Xiaoyao to know everything? I always thought Ah Heng wanted Xiaoyao to live without worries.”

“Since Xiaoyao was born, it was destined that she could not live like Ah Nian. Now that Xiaoyao has grown up, no matter how cruel the truth may be, please tell Xiaoyao. Only the truth can untangle Xiaoyao’s knots and bring her peace.”

长相思第9章 花开花谢故人别(1)

 等小舟驶入五神山的区域，蓐收乘船来迎接，璟带着静夜和胡哑上了蓐收的大船。

    快要到五神山时，璟对蓐收说：“还请大人先去向陛下奏报一声，就说涂山璟和西陵玖瑶求见。如果陛下愿意接见，我们再上去。如果陛下不愿意接见，我们立即原路返回。”

    蓐收愣住了，一直站在璟身后的静夜上前两步，摘下了人面蛛丝织成的面具，微笑着说：“蓐收大人，很久不见，近来可好？”

As the small boat entered the territory of the Wushen Mountains, Rushou came by boat to greet them. Jing, along with Jingye and Huya, boarded Rushou’s large ship.

When they were nearing the Wushen Mountains, Jing said to Rushou, “I ask that you first report to His Majesty and inform him that Tushan Jing and Xiling Jiuyao request an audience. If His Majesty is willing to meet us, we will proceed. If not, we will immediately turn back.”

Rushou was stunned. Jingye, who had been standing behind Jing, stepped forward, removed the mask made of human-faced spider silk, and smiled, saying, “Lord Rushou, it’s been a long time. How have you been lately?”

长相思第9章 花开花谢故人别(1)

  “你娘是不要我，可她从没有想抛弃你！如果不是为了你，她何必要这么人不人、鬼不鬼地痛苦活着？你看看这里的天，再看看这里的地，你觉得这是人活的地方吗？”

    小夭呆呆地看着俊帝，俊帝的一只腿干枯如柴，两只手像枯藤，这是一个灵力高强如俊帝也待不过一天的地方，娘亲却日日夜夜在这里，已经待了几百年。

小夭心内的愤怒不甘都烟消云散，唯有悲哀如烈火一般，烧灼着她的五脏六腑，她猛地转身，向着桃花林的深处奔去，边跑边大叫：“娘！娘！娘……我来了，我来了，你的小夭来了……”

“Your mother didn’t want me, but she never intended to abandon you! If it weren’t for you, why would she endure such a tormenting existence, neither human nor ghost? Look at the sky here, and then look at the ground. Do you think this is a place for living beings?”

Xiaoyao stared blankly at Emperor Jun. One of his legs was as dry as wood, and his hands looked like withered vines. This was a place even someone as powerful as Emperor Jun couldn’t endure for a day, yet her mother had been here day and night for hundreds of years.

All the anger and resentment in Xiaoyao’s heart vanished like smoke. Only sorrow, burning like a fierce fire, scorched her innards. She suddenly turned and ran toward the depths of the peach blossom forest, calling out as she ran, “Mother! Mother! Mother… I’m coming, I’m coming, your Xiaoyao is coming…”

长相思第10章 花开花谢故人别(2)

四百多年后，小夭终于等到了她要的解释，她曾以为这一生都不可能得到。

这一刻，一切都释然，小夭泪流满面，双膝发软，跪在了地上：“娘！”

More than four hundred years later, Xiaoyao finally received the explanation she had long waited for—one she once thought she would never get in this lifetime.

In that moment, everything was let go. Tears streamed down her face as her knees went weak, and she knelt on the ground, crying out, “Mother!”

长相思第11章 花开花谢故人别(3)

  在绯红的流光中，小夭看见了娘，她的头上没有一根头发，面容干枯扭曲，丑陋到令人心惊胆寒。

    阿珩也终于看清楚了小夭，她微笑着说：“你的眼睛和你爹爹一模一样！你爹爹没有说错，看到你时，一切的痛苦等待都值得！小夭，娘明白你舍不得娘走，可娘真的好累，如今你已长大，有了情郎，还有颛顼照顾你，娘可以放心离开，和你爹爹团聚了。”

    小夭心如刀割，却知道对娘而言，死亡才是最好的解脱。娘已经为了她，在这千里荒漠中，痛苦地等待了四百年。

In the crimson glow, Xiaoyao saw her mother. Her head was bald, her face withered and twisted, so grotesque that it sent a chill to the heart.

Ah Heng finally saw Xiaoyao clearly and smiled, saying, “Your eyes are exactly like your father’s! He wasn’t wrong—seeing you makes all the painful waiting worthwhile! Xiaoyao, I know you don’t want me to go, but I’m so very tired. Now that you’ve grown up, found someone to love, and have Zhuanxu to care for you, I can leave with peace of mind and reunite with your father.”

Xiaoyao’s heart ached like it was being cut by knives, but she knew that for her mother, death was the best release. Her mother had endured four hundred years of agonizing waiting in this desolate wasteland for her sake.

长相思第11章 花开花谢故人别(3)

小夭并不知道璟为了此行承担的风险究竟有多大，但知道璟算是欺骗了黄帝，她对璟说：“这是我们的家事！我自己会告诉外爷和哥哥！”

Xiaoyao didn’t know exactly how great the risks Jing was undertaking for this journey, but she knew that Jing had deceived the Yellow Emperor. She said to Jing, ‘This is our family matter! I will tell Grandpa and my brother myself!’

长相思第13章 有情终伴青山老(2)

小夭说：“你们都只看到我救了璟，璟就赖上了我，可是实际上，是璟救了我。”

Xiaoyao said, “You all only see that I saved Jing, and now Jing is clinging to me. But in reality, it was Jing who saved me.”

长相思第43章 道凄凉，与谁说(2)

十七摇了摇小六的手，“我说越是看似重要的事情越像生意，不外乎利益，可唯情之一字，永不可用利益去衡量。父母子女之情，兄弟姊妹之情，朋友之情，男女之情，都是看似平常简单，无处不在，却又稀世难寻、万金不换。”

Shiqi swayed Xiaoliu’s hand. “I said that the more important something seems, the more it resembles a business deal, always about benefits.
But when it comes to feelings, they can never be measured by benefits. The feelings between parents and children, siblings, friends, and lovers may seem ordinary and ubiquitous, but they are rare and priceless.”

长相思第21章 式微式微，胡不归(3)

 阿珩问：“没有别人待你好了吗？为什么是他？”

    小夭说：“只有他，无论发生什么，都不会舍弃我。”

    阿珩似乎笑了一声

Ah Heng asked, “Has no one else treated you well? Why him?”

Xiaoyao replied, “Only him. No matter what happens, he will never abandon me.”

Ah Heng seemed to let out a soft laugh

长相思第11章 花开花谢故人别(3)

可小六把他的上半身擦拭完，他一点声音都没发，只是额头鬓角全是汗珠。也许因为他这份沉默的隐忍，小六带着一分敬意，心真正软了，用帕子帮他把额头鬓角的汗轻轻印掉。

But Xiaoliu wiped down his upper body without him making a sound, though his forehead and temples were covered in sweat.

Perhaps it was this silent endurance that made Xiaoliu feel a sense of respect, and her heart softened as she gently dabbed away the sweat from his forehead and temples with a cloth.

长相思第2章 人生忽如寄(1)

也许因为一开始的缘起就是怜惜，小六很容易对他心软，问道：“你是神农的逃兵吗？”
“Perhaps because their fateful meeting began with compassion, Xiaoliu easily softened in attitude towards him. He asked, ‘Are you a deserter from Shennong?'”

长相思第4章 前路未可知(1)

小六瞪他，“你说过会听我的话，你如果不听话，我就不要你了。”

    十七默默地凝视着他，从树梢漏下的一缕阳光，清晰地照出他鬓角的伤痕，他眼里有淡淡的忧伤。

    小六心软了，走近了两步，想拉十七的胳膊，又惦记起他还有些排斥身体的触碰，只拽住了衣袖，“十七最乖了，又听话又能干，我不会不要你。……”

Xiaoliu glared at him, “You promised to obey me. If you are disobedient, I won’t want you anymore.”

Shiqi gazed at him silently.
A ray of sunlight filtered through the treetops, shining on the scars at his temples and a faint sorrow in his eyes.

Xiaoliu’s heart softened. She stepped closer, and was about to grab Shiqi’s arm but remembered his aversion to physical contact. She instead tugged on his sleeve, “Shiqi is the best, obedient and capable. I won’t not want you.

长相思第4章 前路未可知(1)

璟垂下了眼眸，唇紧紧地抿着。小六非常熟悉他这样的姿势，再狠不下心骂他，扭过了头，不去看他。

Jing lowered his gaze, his lips tightly pressed together.
Xiaoliu was very familiar with this posture of his, and she couldn’t bring herself to scold him any further. She turned her head away and wouldn’t look at him.

长相思第19章 式微式微，胡不归(1)

    “我没有不舒服，我只是有点恨你。”每一次，她刚狠下心，他总有办法让她心软。难道只是因为她把他捡回家，救了他，她就对他狠不下心了？

“I’m not uncomfortable; I just resent you a little.”

Every time she hardened her heart, he always found a way to make her soften. Was it really just because she took him in and saved him that she couldn’t be hard on him?

长相思第46章 思君恨君君不知(3)

渐渐地，小六不管去哪里，都带着他，力气大、记性好、沉默寡言，吩咐什么做什么，简直是杀人放火做坏事的首选伙伴。

Gradually, Xiaoliu began taking him everywhere. He was strong, had a good memory, and was quiet. Whatever he was told to do, he did it, he was practically the perfect partner for committing crimes like murder and arson.

长相思第4章 前路未可知(1)

天还未亮，十七寻了过来。小六在一堆断裂的树枝中，蜷缩着身子酣睡，一身狼狈，嘴角却噙着笑。
……

 十七背起了他，小六温顺地伏在他背上。

Before dawn, Shiqi came looking for him. Xiaoliu was curled up among a pile of broken branches, sleeping soundly despite his disheveled state, with a faint smile at the corner of his mouth.

…

Shiqi lifted him onto his back, and Xiaoliu docilely nestled against him.

长相思第8章 最难欢聚易离别(1)

不是生气十七让轩夺走了解药，而是——当他想倚靠一个人时，回头时，那人不在。他只是生自己的气，竟然会让自己有了这种可笑的欲望。

He’s not angry that Shiqi let Xuan take the antidote, but rather—when he wanted to rely on someone, that person wasn’t there when he turned around. He’s only angry at himself for allowing himself to have such a ridiculous desire.

长相思第6章 客从远方来(1)

小六快步回了屋子，心上的硬壳已经关闭，那份因为心软而起的怜惜让他糊涂了，现在已经清醒。这世间的人都是孤零零来、孤零零去，谁都不能指望谁，今日若有多大的希冀，明日就会有多大的伤害，与其这样，不如从未有过。

Xiaoliu quickly returned to his room, the hard shell around his heart already shut tight. The compassion that had arisen from his moment of softness had clouded his judgment, but now he was clear-headed again. In this world, everyone comes and goes alone; no one can rely on anyone else. The greater today’s hopes, the greater tomorrow’s pain. Rather than endure that, it’s better to have never hoped at all.

长相思第7章 客从远方来(2)

  十七紧紧地抿着唇，低下头，匆匆要走。

    小六忙道歉，“对不起，我、我刚把你当成别人了。那个、那个……语气有点着急，你别往心里去，我不是不许你进我的屋子。”

    “是我的错。”十七从他身旁绕过，出门后，还体贴地把门关好。

Shiqi tightly pressed his lips together, lowered his head, and hurriedly tried to leave.

Xiaoliu quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, I… I just mistook you for someone else. That… that tone was a bit harsh don’t take it to heart. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to come into my room.”

“It was my fault.” Shiqi walked past him, and after stepping outside, he considerately closed the door.

长相思第7章 客从远方来(2)

  小六低声说：“你不应该惯着我。如果我习惯了，你离开了，我怎么办？”

    “我不离开。”

    小六微笑，许诺的人千千万，守诺的人难寻觅。如果他只是十七，也许能简单一些，可他并不是十七。

Xiaoliu whispered, “You shouldn’t spoil me. If I get used to it and you leave, what will I do?”

“I won’t leave.”

Xiaoliu smiled. There are countless people who make promises, but those who keep them are hard to find. If he were just Shiqi, maybe it would be simpler, but he wasn’t Shiqi.

长相思第10章 最难欢聚易离别(3)

璟没有问小六要冰晶做什么，只是沉默地看着小六，双眸犹如黑色的暖玉，洋溢着温暖愉悦，似乎对小六肯找他要东西很开心。

    轩提醒了小六绝不可相信璟，可小六总不相信璟会想杀人

Jing didn’t ask Xiao Liu what he wanted the ice crystal for; he just silently gazed at him. His eyes, like warm black jade, radiated warmth and joy, as if he was happy that Xiao Liu felt comfortable asking him for something.

Xuan had warned Xiao Liu not to trust Jing, but Xiao Liu never could believe that Jing would want to kill anyone.

长相思第17章 人转迢迢路转长(2)

 十七问：“你有多不想见俊帝？”

    小六想了想说：“宁死也不见！”

    十七把一个狐狸形状的玉香囊放进小六手里：“我虽然打不过他们，但我应该能拖住他们。我的坐骑在东北方，你待会儿朝东北方跑，举起这个玉狐狸，模仿狐狸的叫声，它会去接你。”

Shiqi asked, “How much do you not want to see Emperor Jun?”

Xiaoliu thought for a moment and said, “I’d rather die than see him!”

Shiqi placed a fox-shaped jade sachet into Xiaoliu’s hand. “I may not be able to defeat them, but I should be able to hold them off. My mount is to the northeast. Later, run towards the northeast, raise this jade fox, and mimic a fox’s call. It will come to get you.”

长相思第20章 式微式微，胡不归(2)

可目送她离开的人，品尝到的只是逐渐的远离，十七选择了把温暖留给她。

But for those watching her leave, all they experienced was her gradual departure. Shiqi chose to leave the warmth with her.

长相思第30章 盛会在何时(4)

 小夭走到他身前，额头抵在璟的肩上，说道：“虽然我常抱怨说你心太软，可其实我……我很愿意你心软。”
她的身边已经有太多心狠手辣的人了，外祖父、父王、颛顼、两个舅舅、几个表弟，甚至包括她自己，都是心狠手辣的人。

璟的心软，让她觉得安全，也让她欢喜。

    璟忍不住轻轻揽住了小夭，小夭依旧额头抵着他的肩膀，半晌都未动。

Xiao Yao walked up to him and rested her forehead on Jing’s shoulder, saying, “Even though I often complain that you’re too soft-hearted, the truth is… I really like that about you.”
She already had too many ruthless people around her: her grandfather, her father, Zhuan Xu, her two uncles, several cousins, and even herself—they were all ruthless.

Jing’s soft-heartedness made her feel safe and brought her joy.

Jing couldn’t help but gently embrace Xiao Yao. She kept her forehead resting on his shoulder, remaining still for a long while.

长相思第1章 青梅赋相思(1)

黄帝站在田埂上，望着他们。

    夏日的阳光，透过繁茂的槐树枝叶洒在相拥的两人身上，竟好似将他们的身影凝固在了隽永的温暖中。

    黄帝不知道是因为自己老了，还是闭着眼睛的小夭长得太像记忆中那个年轻的她，黄帝竟然觉得眼睛有些酸涩。他这一生成就了无数人的幸福，他的亲人却大多不幸，就如太阳，光辉普照大地，令万物生长，可真正靠近太阳的，都会被灼伤。他已经垂垂老矣，逝去之事不可追，但现在，他很希望槐树下相拥的温暖真的能天长地久。

The Yellow Emperor stood on the ridge, watching them.

The summer sunlight filtered through the lush branches of the locust tree, casting its glow on the two people embracing, as if freezing their figures in a timeless warmth.

The Yellow Emperor wasn’t sure if it was because he had grown old, or because the Xiaoyao with her eyes closed looked so much like the young girl in his memories, but he felt a faint sting in his eyes. Throughout his life, he had brought happiness to countless people, yet most of his own loved ones were unfortunate. He was like the sun—its brilliance illuminating the earth, allowing all things to thrive, but those who drew too close were always burned. Now, in his twilight years, the past was beyond reach. Yet in this moment, he deeply wished that the warmth beneath the locust tree could last forever.

长相思第4章 东风恶，欢情薄(4)

冰冷黑暗的屋子中，小夭恍恍惚惚地坐着。

    一个人从屋外走进来，随着他的步子，屋檐下的几盏灯笼、屋内的两盏油灯全都亮了，当他一步步走近小夭，就好像把灿烂的光明一步步带到了小夭身边。

  璟把一件狐皮大氅披到她身上，小夭这才觉得身子冰凉，拢了拢大氅，把自己裹住。

In the cold, dark room, Xiaoyao sat in a daze.

A person walked in from outside, and as he stepped forward, the lanterns under the eaves and the two oil lamps inside all lit up. As he approached Xiaoyao, it was as if he was bringing radiant light step by step into her presence.

Jing draped a fox fur cloak over her shoulders, and only then did Xiaoyao realize how cold her body was. She pulled the cloak tighter, wrapping herself up in it.

长相思第7章 此身出何处(2)

    小夭翻了个身，两人四目相对，她含着笑说：“不是说你像我娘，而是说……就像小时候，什么都不用想，什么都不用忧虑，每天都很快乐。”小夭唇畔的笑意渐渐地消失，“一切都像是做梦，我真怕像以前一样，一下子梦就醒了。”

    璟轻轻亲了她一下，说：“这不是梦，我们会这样一直走完一辈子。”

Xiao Yao turned over, and their eyes met. With a smile, she said, “It’s not that you’re like my mother, but… it’s like when we were children, when we didn’t have to think about anything or worry about anything, and were just happy every day.” Xiao Yao’s smile gradually faded from her lips.
“Everything feels like a dream, and I’m really afraid it will end suddenly like before.”

Jing gently kissed her and said, “This isn’t a dream. We will walk through our entire lives like this.”

长相思第9章 花开花谢故人别(1)

 王母问小夭和璟：“你们以后有什么打算？”

    璟看小夭，小夭笑道：“娘娘说过，心安处，就是家。天下之大，总能找到一处世外洞天让我们安居。”

    王母点点头：“只要心能安，处处都能做家。你们收拾收拾，就离开吧！”

The Queen Mother asked Xiao Yao and Jing,
“What are your plans for the future?”

Jing looked at Xiao Yao, who smiled and replied, “The Empress said that wherever the heart feels at peace is home. The world is so vast that we can surely find a secluded paradise where we can settle down.”

The Queen Mother nodded, “As long as your heart is at peace, any place can be home. Pack your things and leave when you’re ready!”

长相思第49章 结发两不疑(1)

小六调笑道：“难怪有女子为求你一顾而不惜练舞十年，此番你回去，只怕也少不了女子求你一顾。”

    十七局促不安，好似生怕小六误会，急急地说：“我不会看的。”

    小六觉得心里有些甜，可又不愿被看出来，故作不耐地扭过了头，“你看不看，和我有什么关系？”

Xiaoliu teased, “No wonder women are willing to practice dancing for ten years just to catch a glance from you. When you return, there will surely be plenty of women seeking your attention.”

Shiqi, anxious and worried that Xiaoliu might misunderstand, quickly said, “I won’t look at them.”

Xiaoliu felt a bit of sweetness in her heart but didn’t want it to show, so she turned her head away, pretending to be annoyed. “Whether you look or not has nothing to do with me.”

长相思第21章 式微式微，胡不归(3)

神农山上，鸭脖子就着青梅酒，私语通宵……

On Shennong Mountain, with duck necks and green plum wine, they whispered to each other all through the night…

长相思第43章 追往事，空惨愁颜(3)

璟把她脸上的碎发往后拢，小夭突然抱住了他的腰，喃喃说：“我今天下午真的是去看你的，不信你回去问看门的仆役。我去找你，没找到，才去街上乱逛的。”

    璟紧搂着小夭，额头抵在小夭的头发上，只觉短短一会儿，他跌落了深渊，正以为万劫不复时，却又飞上了云端。

Jing brushed the stray hairs from her face. Xiaoyao suddenly hugged his waist and murmured, “I really did come to see you this afternoon. If you don’t believe me, you can ask the gatekeeper. I went looking for you but couldn’t find you, so I ended up wandering the streets.”

Jing held Xiaoyao tightly, pressing his forehead against her hair. In just a short moment, he felt as if he had fallen into an abyss, thinking he was doomed, only to find himself soaring to the clouds.

长相思第39章 此情无计可消除(3)

小夭觉得怀里空落落的，璟伸手推她，“听话。”

    小夭的确是很疲乏，无力抗争，顺着璟的力道倒在了榻上，小夭拽拽璟，“你躺下，我要摸你的头发。”

    璟侧身躺下，小夭的手指卷着他的发丝绕来绕去

Xiaoyao felt an emptiness in her arms. Jing reached out and gently pushed her. “Be good.”

Xiaoyao was indeed very tired, too weak to resist, and with Jing’s gentle push, she laid back onto the couch. She tugged at Jing. “Lie down. I want to play with your hair.”

Jing lay on his side, and Xiaoyao’s fingers twirled around his strands of hair.

长相思第47章 思君恨君君不知(4)

小夭抱住了他，脸贴在他肩头。

    小夭的动作太柔情款款，纵使一字未说，可已经将一切都表达，璟揽住了小夭，头埋在她发间，只觉岁月静好，别无所求。

    两人静静相拥了很久，久得两人都忘记了时间。

Xiaoyao hugged him, resting her face against his shoulder.

Xiaoyao’s action was so tender that even without a word, everything was conveyed. Jing embraced Xiaoyao, burying his head in her hair, feeling that time was peaceful and he desired nothing more.

The two of them quietly held each other for a long time, so long that they both forgot about time.

长相思第7章 岁月静好与君同(2)

 小夭一头扑进了璟的怀里，泪水滚滚而下，呜呜咽咽地说：
“璟，璟，你终于回来了！”

璟拥着她说：“别哭……别哭……”   

Xiaoyao threw herself into Jing’s arms, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, “Jing, Jing, you’re finally back!”

Jing held her and said, “Don’t cry… don’t cry…”

长相思第48章 相逢犹恐是梦中(2)

小六忍不住笑，颛顼再怎么想，也不会想到不肯去高辛的他会逃跑去高辛。小六对璟说：“我一直以为你最老实，没想到这么奸猾。”

Xiaoliu couldn’t help but laugh. No matter how much Zhuanxu thought about it, he would never imagine that Xiaoliu, who refused to go to Gaoxin, would actually escape to Gaoxin. Xiaoliu said to Jing, “I always thought you were the most honest one, but I didn’t expect you to be so cunning.”

长相思第20章 式微式微，胡不归(2)

  小六哎呀一声，用手捂住脸，“你胡说！我没有，我才没有！”

    “我没有胡说。”

    “你就是胡说，就是胡说，我从来不脸红！”

    “我没有。”

    十七向来顺着小六，这是第一次固执地坚持。

Xiaoliu exclaimed, covering his face with his hands, “You’re talking nonsense! I didn’t, I didn’t!”

“I am not talking nonsense.”

“You are! You are! I never blush!”

“I am not.”

Shiqi had always gone along with Xiaoliu, but this was the first time he stubbornly insisted.

长相思第20章 式微式微，胡不归(2)

十七眼角有泪渗出，印在小六的发上，喉咙里却发出低沉的笑声，“你抱我出浴桶时，根本不敢看我。把我放在榻上，话都没说完整就落荒而逃。你说我怎么可能把你当男人？”

    小六捶他的胸膛，低声嘟囔：“你个奸猾的！我一直以为你最老实！我被骗了！”

Tears seeped from the corners of Shiqi’s eyes, staining Xiaoliu’s hair, yet he let out a low laugh. “When you carried me out of the bath, you didn’t even dare to look at me. You put me on the couch and fled in panic before you could finish your sentence. How could I possibly see you as a man?”

Xiaoliu pounded his chest and muttered softly, “You sly one! I always thought you were the most honest! I’ve been fooled!”

长相思第21章 式微式微，胡不归(3)

小六笑嘻嘻地说：“老听人家说涂山璟非常会做生意，谈生意时又风趣又犀利，我总不相信。你老是笨笨的样子，说话也不利落，今夜我算真正领教了。”

    十七轻声地笑，他的笑声就如他的人，温柔、平和、纯粹。

Xiaoliu said with a grin, “I’ve always heard people say that Tushan Jing is very good at business, charming and sharp when negotiating. I never believed it. You’re always so clumsy and inarticulate. Tonight, I finally understand.”

Shiqi laughed softly.
His laughter, like him, was gentle, calm, and pure.

长相思第21章 式微式微，胡不归(3)

    “我也不知道，但我知道我一定会回到你身边，因为我答应过要一辈子听你的话，所以……”璟的额头抵着小夭的额头，虔诚地祈祷：“请为我守住你的心。”

    小夭的指头插进他的头发中，笑着抓他的头发，“我已经看出来了，你是个狡猾的人。就算我想忘记，你也会不停地变着法子提醒我，一边说着不敢奢望，一边却又绝不松手。”

    璟的声音很痛苦，喃喃说：“我只是……没有办法……我知道你值得更好的，可是我没有办法……对不起……”

“I don’t know, but I know I will definitely come back to you, because I promised to listen to you for a lifetime, so…” Jing pressed his forehead against Xiaoyao’s, praying sincerely, “Please keep your heart for me.”

Xiaoyao’s fingers threaded through his hair, laughing as she grabbed it, “I can see it now, you’re a sly person. Even if I wanted to forget, you would keep finding ways to remind me, saying you don’t dare to hope, yet never letting go.”

Jing’s voice was filled with pain as he murmured, “I just… can’t help it… I know you deserve better, but I can’t help it… I’m sorry…”

长相思第39章 此情无计可消除(3)

 璟拖着小夭坐到湖畔的草地上：“这场流言来势汹汹，揭穿了你的身世秘密，在两位陛下的安排下，你从高辛大王姬变成了西陵氏的大小姐，看似一切都结束了。可对你而言，一切才刚刚开始！纵然有两位陛下的庇护，可他们不能阻止人们敌视、嘲讽、孤立、刁难你，你需要学习如何以西陵大小姐的身份面对很多人的恨意。也许没有人敢冒着灭族之祸去挑战两位陛下的威严，可难保不会有人暗中雇用杀手来刺杀你，你也要学习如何作为蚩尤的女儿坚强地活下去。小夭，逃避不会让一切过去，勇敢地面对它！”

    小夭呆呆看了一会儿璟，居然伸手掐了璟的脸颊一下：“你、我刚相逢时，你的名字叫什么？谁给你起的？”

    璟笑道：“叶十七，你起的。”

    小夭抚着心口吁气：“你是真的璟！难道是因为你做了族长，怎么说话的语气这么像颛顼？”

    “我一直都这样，只不过……”璟笑看着小夭，欲言又止。

    “只不过什么？”

    “只不过因为一个叫玟小六的人，被爱意蒙蔽了双眼。”

    小夭又气又笑，捶打璟，璟左躲右闪，两人嬉闹着滚倒在草地上，璟举起双手说：“休战！投降，我投降！”

    小夭四肢舒展，仰躺在草地上，望着蓝天白云：“其实，我早知道你是个奸猾的！只凭琴棋书画，哪里能让赤水丰隆、离戎昶那帮世家的未来族长对你言听计从？只不过你从未把你精明强势的那一面展露在我面前，我倒真常常忘记了你其实也可以和他们一样。”

    璟坐在小夭身旁，低头看着她：“小夭，不管日后碰到猛兽，还是遇到悬崖，我想你知道，我会陪你一直走下去。”

Jing pulled Xiao Yao to sit on the grass by the lake. “This wave of rumors has been fierce, exposing your secret background. Under the arrangement of the two Emperors, you have gone from being Princess of Gao Xin to a Lady of the Xi Ling Clan. It seems everything is over. But for you, it’s just beginning! Even with the protection of the two Emperors, they cannot stop people from being hostile, mocking, isolating, or making things difficult for you. You need to learn how to face the hatred of many people as a Lady of the Xi Ling Clan. While no one may dare to challenge the authority of the two Emperors out of fear of annihilation, there’s no guarantee someone won’t secretly hire an assassin to kill you.

You must also learn how to live strongly as the daughter of Chi You. Xiao Yao, avoiding this won’t make it go away. Face it bravely!”

Xiao Yao stared at Jing for a moment and then reached out to pinch his cheek. “When we first met, what was your name? Who gave it to you?”

Jing laughed. “Ye Shiqi, you gave it to me.”

Xiao Yao placed her hand over her heart and sighed with relief.
“You really are Jing! Is it because you’ve become the clan leader that your tone of speech sounds so much like Zhuanxu?”

“I’ve always been like this, only…” Jing smiled at Xiao Yao, hesitant to continue.

“Only what?”

“Only because I met someone named Wen Xiaoliu and became blinded by love.”

Xiao Yao was both angry and amused, hitting Jing. Jing dodged left and right, and the two of them playfully tumbled onto the grass. Jing raised his hands and said, “Ceasefire! I surrender, I surrender!”

Xiao Yao stretched out on the grass, lying on her back, looking at the blue sky and white clouds. “Actually, I always knew you were cunning! Just with your skills in the four arts—zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting—how could you make the future clan leaders of Chi Shui Feng Long and Lirong Chang obey you? It’s just that you’ve never shown me your shrewd and strong side, so I often forget that you can be just like them.”

Jing sat beside Xiao Yao, looking down at her. “Xiao Yao, whether we encounter fierce beasts or cliffs in the future, I want you to know that I will always be by your side.”

长相思第8章 此身出何处(3)

璟打趣她：“你仔细被人听到了，说你现在悔不当初，心心念念惦记着丰隆。”

    小夭被璟弄得哭笑不得，扑上去要打璟，璟一边躲，一边故作正经地说：“现在丰隆是大将军，前程不可限量，远比我这小族长有权有势，你倒是和我说句实话，心里可有后悔？丰隆还没有娶妻，你若真反悔，也不见得没有机会。”

    小夭恨不得在璟嘴上抓几下，却压根儿抓不到，她咬牙切齿地说：“以前总听人说青丘公子反应机敏、言辞笑谑，我还傻傻地觉得，他们不是欺负你吧！如今我是后悔了，可不是因为丰隆前程不可限量，而是发现你是个大坏蛋！”

    璟凑到小夭身边：“那怎么才算是好人，我让你打一下？”
小夭扭头，仰头望着另一侧的天：“不稀罕！”

    璟转到小夭面前：“那打两下？”

    “哼！”小夭扭过头，看着另一边的天上。

    “三下？”

    黄帝的笑声突然传来，小夭和璟忙站开了一些，黄帝咳嗽了两声，说道：“我来喝口水，你们继续玩你们的。”

    “谁跟他玩了？是他在欺负我！”小夭脸色发红，跑到廊下倒了杯水，端给黄帝。

    黄帝看着小夭，笑道：“我看倒欺负得好，璟不在时，你蔫搭搭的，璟一来，有生气了许多。”

    小夭看了璟一眼，什么都没说。

Jing teased her, “Careful, someone might hear you and think you’re now regretting not being with Feng Long, and that you keep thinking about him.”

Xiao Yao was both amused and exasperated by Jing’s words. She lunged at him to hit him, but Jing dodged while pretending to be serious. “Now Feng Long is a great general with an unlimited future, far more influential than this small clan leader position of mine. Tell me the truth—do you regret it? Feng Long isn’t married yet; if you truly have second thoughts, you might still have a chance.”

Xiao Yao was so frustrated she wanted to scratch Jing’s mouth but couldn’t reach him. She gritted her teeth and said, “I used to hear people say that Master Qingqiu was quick-witted and witty, and I naively thought they were just bullying you. Now I regret it, but not because of Feng Long’s potential. It’s because I’ve discovered you’re a big bad guy!”

Jing moved closer to Xiao Yao and asked, “So what would make me a good person? Should I let you hit me?”

Xiao Yao turned her head, looking up at the sky on the other side. “Not interested!”

Jing moved to face her directly. “How about two hits?”

“Hmph!” Xiao Yao turned her head away, looking at the sky on the other side.

“Three hits?”

The laughter of the Yellow Emperor suddenly came from behind. Xiao Yao and Jing quickly stepped aside. The Emperor coughed twice and said, “I’m just here to get some water. You two continue with your play.”

“Who’s playing with him? He’s bullying me!” Xiao Yao’s face turned red as she went to the corridor to pour a glass of water and handed it to the Emperor.

The Emperor looked at Xiao Yao and smiled, “It seems like the bullying is working well. You were listless when Jing wasn’t around, but now you’re much more spirited.”

Xiao Yao glanced at Jing but said nothing.

长相思第15章 兵戈近，空奈何(2)

小夭说道：“我明白你的意思，只要不在乎防风意映的死活，是有方法逼防风氏退婚，甚至索性除掉防风意映，人一死，婚约自然就没了。但婚约是璟的娘亲和奶奶亲自定下的，防风意映只是想做族长夫人，并没有对璟做什么大恶事。

老实说，如果璟和你一样，真能狠辣到以不惜毁掉防风意映的方式去摆脱防风意映，我反倒会远离他。像你这样的男人看上去杀伐决断、魅力非凡，可我只是个普通的女人，我想要找的是一个能陪伴我一生的人。

一生很漫长，会发生太多变故，我相信只有本性善良的人才有可能善良地对我一生，即使我犯了错，他也会包容我。我不相信一个对世人皆狠辣的人会只对我例外，我还没那么强大的自信和自恋。”

Xiaoyao said, “I understand what you mean. As long as one doesn’t care about Fangfeng Yiying’s life or death, there are ways to force the Fangfeng clan to annul the engagement, or even to remove Fangfeng Yiying altogether. Once she’s dead, the engagement would naturally be nullified. But the engagement was set by Jing’s mother and grandmother; Fangfeng Yiying merely wants to be the clan leader’s wife and hasn’t done anything truly terrible to Jing.

To be honest, if Jing were like you and could be ruthless enough to destroy Fangfeng Yiying just to get rid of her, I would actually stay away from him.

A man like you, who appears decisive and charming, might seem appealing, but I’m just an ordinary woman. What I want is someone who can accompany me through life.

Life is long and full of uncertainties. I believe only someone with a kind nature has the potential to be genuinely kind to me throughout my life. Even if I make mistakes, he would be forgiving. I don’t believe that someone who is harsh to everyone else would make an exception for me. I’m not that confident or narcissistic.”

长相思第22章 爱恨两依依(3)

  小夭从不隐瞒自己的行踪，璟知道小夭常去见防风邶，却什么都没问。

    其实，心底深处，小夭希望璟问，可也许因为璟觉得自己还没有资格干涉小夭，什么都没问。他甚至从没有提起过防风邶和相柳的相似，不知道是他调查过没怀疑，还是他觉得压根儿不重要。

Xiao Yao never hid her whereabouts, and Jing knew that Xiao Yao often went to see Fang Fengbei but never asked about it.

In truth, deep down, Xiao Yao hoped Jing would ask, but perhaps Jing felt he was not yet in a position to interfere in Xiao Yao’s affairs, so he never asked. He had never even mentioned the similarity between Fang Fengbei and Xiang Liu, not knowing whether he had investigated it without suspicion or if he simply felt it was not important.

长相思第4章 风露立中宵(1)

小夭说：“虽然没有一点证据，可有太多蛛丝马迹，其实，我已经相信了你的话。”

Xiao Yao said, “Although there is no concrete evidence, there are too many clues. Actually, I already believe what you said.”

  
长相思第47章 风不定，人初静(2)

小夭叹道：“你谢我做什么？要谢就谢你自己吧！如果不是你，篌也不会急切地想要征服我。”

    璟的表情有点迷惑，小夭道：“篌曾经勾引过静夜，不过没成功。兰香、静夜、意映、我，篌一个都没放过，难道你真以为是我迷惑住了篌吗？”

    璟渐渐反应过来，脸色一时白、一时红：“他……他……想证明他比我……更好？”

    小夭叹了口气：“我的这个计策不是没有漏洞，可因为你这个从来不争不抢的人表现得非我不可，篌太想通过征服我去摧毁你了，忽视了漏洞。”

    璟勉强地笑了笑，说道：“不是我表现得非你不可，而是他知道我真的非你不可。我们是一起长大的亲兄弟，大哥一直都知道如何去真正毁灭我。”

Xiaoyao sighed, “Why are you thanking me? If you must thank someone, thank yourself! If it weren’t for you, Hou wouldn’t have been so eager to conquer me.”

Jing looked a bit confused, so Xiaoyao explained, “Hou once tried to seduce Jing Ye, but he failed. Lan Xiang, Jing Ye, Yi Ying, and me—Hou didn’t spare any of us. Do you really think it was me who bewitched him?”

Jing slowly began to understand, his face turning pale and then flushing red. “He… he… wanted to prove that he was better than me?”

Xiaoyao sighed, “My plan wasn’t without flaws, but because you, someone who never competes or fights for anything, showed such determination for me, Hou was too eager to conquer me to destroy you, and he overlooked those flaws.”

Jing forced a smile and said, “It’s not that I appeared to need you so much; it’s that he knew I truly couldn’t be without you.
We grew up together as brothers, and my elder brother has always known exactly how to truly destroy me.”

长相思第4章 东风恶，欢情薄(4)

 “相信我！不管发生什么，都无条件地相信我！”

    “我答应。”

    小夭似乎仍有些不放心，叮咛道：“不管看到什么、听到什么，都闭起眼睛，先问问自己的心。”

“Trust me! No matter what happens, believe in me unconditionally!”

“I promise.”

Xiaoyao still seemed a bit uneasy and reminded him, “No matter what you see or hear, close your eyes and ask your heart first.”

长相思第1章 东风恶，欢情薄(1)

璟坐到了小夭身旁，小夭侧头看他：“看到你送我的东西在篌手里，生气了吗？”

    璟说：“就算你真给了他，我也不可能为个身外物和你置气。小夭，告诉我，你到底想做什么？”

    小夭眯着眼睛笑起来：“你已经猜到了一些吧？”

    璟说：“有些隐隐约约的念头，但我希望我猜错了，小夭，我不希望你……”

    小夭从衣领里拽出了鱼丹红：“不管你喜欢不喜欢，反正我的事已经做完了，剩下的事，都是你的了。”

    璟握住了鱼丹红：“这是……篌当年在归墟海中猎取了一枚鱼丹红……是那颗吗？”

    小夭点头：“你看到篌手中有你送我的东西时，即使坚信我和篌之间没有什么，可当时也有些不舒服吧？”

    璟自嘲道：“第一瞬的反应的确是震惊和难过，不过立即就明白了，你肯定另有打算。却不知道你究竟想做什么，也帮不上你，只能面无表情、不发一言，以不变应万变。”

    小夭抿着唇笑：“你觉得意映和篌之间会有我们的信任吗？意映看到这枚鱼丹红在我这里，会有什么想法？”

Jing sat down beside Xiaoyao. Xiaoyao turned her head to look at him and asked, “Were you angry when you saw what you gave me in Hou’s hands?”

Jing replied, “Even if you really gave it to him, I wouldn’t be upset with you over something material. Xiaoyao, tell me, what exactly are you trying to do?”

Xiaoyao squinted her eyes and smiled, “You’ve already guessed a little, haven’t you?”

Jing said, “I have some vague ideas, but I hope I’m wrong. Xiaoyao, I don’t want you to…”

Xiaoyao pulled out the red fish core from her collar. “Whether you like it or not, I’ve already finished what I needed to do. Whatever’s left is now up to you.”

Jing grasped the red fish core and said, “This is… the fish core Hou hunted in the Ruins Sea years ago… Is this the one?”

Xiaoyao nodded. “When you saw Hou holding what you gave me, even though you firmly believed nothing was going on between us, you must have felt a bit uncomfortable, right?”

Jing laughed at himself, “My initial reaction was indeed shock and sadness, but I immediately understood that you must have other plans. Still, I didn’t know what you were trying to do, and I couldn’t help you. All I could do was remain expressionless and silent, waiting to adapt to whatever happened.”

Xiaoyao grinned, “Do you think Yi Ying and Hou could have the kind of trust we have? What do you think Yi Ying will feel when she sees this red fish core with me?”

长相思第3章 东风恶，欢情薄(3)

相柳盯着十七打量，小六一着急，居然孩子气地用手捂住了十七的脸：
“你别打他的鬼主意，他是我的。”

Xiangliu stared at Shiqi, sizing him up.
In a moment of panic, Xiaoliu childishly covered Shiqi’s face with his hand and said,
“Don’t get any ideas about him. He’s mine.”

长相思第5章 前路未可知(2)

相柳的手掐着小六的脖子，用了点力，问：“那个男人，就是每次我出现，你都要藏起来的那个，是不是涂山家的老二？”

    小六想，我说不是，你也不会信啊，“是。”

Xiangliu gripped Xiaoliu’s neck, exerted some force and asked, “That man, that one you always hide from me whenever I show up—he’s the second son of the Tushan family, isn’t he?”

Xiaoliu thought, even if I say no, you wouldn’t believe it. “Yes.”

长相思第11章 欲将此身寄山河(1)

相柳抬起了头，“没有。涂山家有人泄露了藏药的地点。”

“不会是涂山璟！”

    “我知道不是他。”
 “那是谁？”

    “我怎么知道？你该去问他！”

“知道是谁劫了药吗？”

    “不知道。”

Xiang Liu raised his head, “No. Someone from the Tushan family leaked the location where the medicine was hidden.”

“It couldn’t be Tushan Jing!”

“I know it wasn’t him.”
“Who could it be?”

“How would I know? You should go ask him!”

“Do you know who stole the medicine?”

“I don’t know.”

长相思第12章 欲将此身寄山河(2)

俊帝慢悠悠地说：“我记得你和防风小怪的女儿有婚约，是我记错了吗？”

    十七额头冒汗，僵硬地回道：“没、有。”

    “是你没有婚约，还是我没有记错？”

    “是、是陛下没、没记错。”

    小六看不下去了，低声叫道：“爹！”

    俊帝深深地盯了十七一眼

Emperor Jun leisurely said, “I recall you have a marriage engagement with Fangfeng Xiaoguai’s daughter. Am I mistaken?”

Shiqi, sweating on his forehead, stiffly replied, “N-no.”

“Is it that you don’t have the engagement, or that I didn’t remember wrong?”

“I-it’s that Your Majesty didn’t remember wrong.”

Xiaoliu couldn’t bear it any longer and softly called out, “Father!”

Emperor Jun gave Shiqi a deep look.

长相思第23章 眉间心上，无计相回避(2)

意映看了一眼璟，满是鄙夷嫌恶，一闪而过，众人都没发现，却恰恰落在了小夭眼内。一刹那，小夭比自己被鄙夷嫌恶了都难受。

    意映好似连和璟坐在一起都难以忍受，盈盈笑着站起身，去拿了杯酒，倚靠到榻上，和歪在榻上喝酒的防风邶、篌小声说着话。

Yiying glanced at Jing with utter disdain and disgust, a fleeting expression that went unnoticed by everyone except Xiaoyao. In that instant, Xiaoyao felt more pained than if she had been the one disdained.

Yiying seemed unable to even bear sitting next to Jing. She gracefully stood up, fetched a cup of wine, and leaned against the couch, quietly chatting with Fangfeng Bei and Hou, who were also lounging and drinking.

长相思第3章 青梅赋相思(3)

小夭沉默了一会儿，若无其事地说：“璟已经知道你是相柳，他肯定不会告诉我哥哥，可如果丰隆知道了，哥哥肯定会知道。你……一切小心。”

Xiaoyao was silent for a moment before nonchalantly saying, “Jing already knows you are Xiang Liu. He definitely won’t tell my brother, but if Fenglong finds out, my brother will definitely know. You… be careful.”

长相思第37章 烟水茫，意难忘(2)

  小夭道：“你做的事，却要防风氏背黑锅，防风意映势必要为防风氏挡这飞来横祸，她是涂山族长的夫人，等于把涂山氏拖了进去。”

Xiaoyao said, “You did the deed, yet the Fangfeng clan has to take the blame. Fangfeng Yiying will inevitably shield the clan from this unexpected disaster, and since she’s the wife of the Tushan clan leader, you’re dragging Tushan into it as well.”

长相思第45章 只影向谁去(2)

 璟还未开口，黄帝咳嗽了一声，璟没有说话，却迎着黄帝的锐利视线，毫不畏缩地看着黄帝。

    小夭看看黄帝，看看璟，第一次发现璟的威仪竟然丝毫不弱于黄帝，她突然跳到黄帝面前，挡住了璟，做了个鬼脸，嬉皮笑脸地问：“外爷，有什么古怪？”

    “女大外向！”黄帝无奈地摇摇头，
“究竟有什么古怪，你去问颛顼，我和璟可不想担上这多嘴的责怪。”

Jing hadn’t spoken yet when the Yellow Emperor coughed.
Jing remained silent but met the Yellow Emperor’s sharp gaze without any fear.

Xiaoyao glanced at the Yellow Emperor, then at Jing. For the first time, she realized that Jing’s presence was no less imposing than that of the Yellow Emperor. Suddenly, she jumped in front of the Yellow Emperor, blocking Jing, made a funny face, and asked with a mischievous smile, “Grandpa, is there something strange?”

“Girls really do side with outsiders after they grow up!”
The Yellow Emperor shook his head helplessly.
“If you want to know what’s strange, go ask Zhuanxu. Jing and I have no desire to be blamed for speaking out of turn.”

长相思 第14章 兵戈近，空奈何(1)

 阿珩看璟随在小夭身后，长跪不起，自然明白了一切，心情复杂，一时间竟然一句话都说不出。

    小夭和璟忐忑不安地跪着，半晌后，小夭终于按捺不住，叫道：“娘？”

    阿珩如梦初醒，问道：“他待你好吗？”

    小夭说：“好，很好。”

    阿珩问：“没有别人待你好了吗？为什么是他？”

    小夭说：“只有他，无论发生什么，都不会舍弃我。”

    阿珩似乎笑了一声，叫道：“璟！”

    “晚辈在。”

    “请照顾小夭。”

    这是表示认可他了？璟愣了一愣，连磕了三个头，喜悦地说：“晚辈一定做到。”

Ah Heng saw Jing kneeling behind Xiaoyao without getting up, and immediately understood everything. Her emotions were complicated, and for a moment, she couldn’t say a word.

Xiaoyao and Jing knelt anxiously. After a long pause, Xiaoyao couldn’t hold back any longer and called out, “Mother?”

Ah Heng, as if waking from a dream, asked, “Does he treat you well?”

Xiaoyao replied, “Yes, very well.”

Ah Heng asked, “Is there no one else who treats you well? Why him?”

Xiaoyao said, “No matter what happens, only he will never abandon me.”

Ah Heng seemed to let out a laugh and called, “Jing!”

“Yes, the junior is here.”

“Please take care of Xiaoyao.”

Was this her way of acknowledging him? Jing froze for a moment, then kowtowed three times in joy and said, “I will certainly do so.”

长相思第11章 花开花谢故人别(3)

 小夭刚要开口，黄帝慈祥地说：“你不和璟商量一下吗？”

    颛顼立即说：“爷爷，璟和此事有什么关系？”

    黄帝露出狐狸般狡猾的笑，瞅着颛顼说：“你说和他有没有关系呢？”

    颛顼眼中闪过一抹羞赧，气恼得竟然如孩子般抱怨：“没见过你这样的爷爷，一点都不肯帮自己的亲孙子，你还是不是我爷爷？”

    眼看着他们又要吵起来，小夭忙说：“我几时说过我想要一个氏？难道我不能只有名，没有氏吗？”

    黄帝和颛顼异口同声地说：“不行！”决然断然，十足的帝王口气。

    小夭扑哧笑了出来，对颛顼说：“看，外爷还是帮你的！”

    小夭低头思索，没打算问璟的意思，颛顼和黄帝是她的亲人，她得罪了谁都没关系，可对璟而言，他们是两位帝王，帝心难测，小夭不想让璟冒险。

    小夭默默思索了一会儿，说道：“我选西陵氏。”
西陵和涂山正好门当户对，轩辕却太尊贵了，会有太多束缚。

Just as Xiaoyao was about to speak, the Yellow Emperor kindly said, “Aren’t you going to discuss it with Jing first?”

Zhuanxu immediately interjected, “Grandfather, what does Jing have to do with this?”

The Yellow Emperor gave a sly, fox-like smile and looked at Zhuanxu, asking, “Do you think it has anything to do with him?”

A hint of embarrassment flashed in Zhuanxu’s eyes, and, annoyed like a child, he grumbled, “I’ve never seen a grandfather like you! You won’t even help your own grandson. Are you really my grandfather?”

Seeing that they were about to start arguing again, Xiaoyao quickly intervened, “When did I ever say I wanted a family name? Can’t I just have a name without a family?”

The Yellow Emperor and Zhuanxu responded in unison, “No!” Firmly and decisively, in the unmistakable tone of emperors.

Xiaoyao burst out laughing and said to Zhuanxu, “See, Grandfather is helping you!”

Lowering her head, Xiaoyao thought for a moment. She hadn’t planned on asking Jing’s opinion. Zhuanxu and the Yellow Emperor were her family—offending them didn’t matter. But for Jing, they were two emperors, unpredictable in their desires. Xiaoyao didn’t want to put Jing at risk.

After quietly thinking for a while, Xiaoyao said, “I choose the Xiling clan.” Xiling and Tushan were a perfect match, while Xuanyuan was too noble, carrying too many restrictions.

长相思第8章 此身出何处(3)

  璟和小夭走进屋子，看到王母靠躺在桃木榻上，獙君和水荭垂手立在一旁。璟上前行礼：“晚辈涂山璟见过王母娘娘。”

    王母冷冷地看了他一眼，喝着百花酿，不愿搭理的样子。

    璟跪下：“小夭的娘亲在出征前，将小夭托付给娘娘，娘娘抚养了小夭七十年，之后又多有照顾，小夭为娘娘做事很应该，但小夭是我的妻子，我不能让她接掌玉山。”

    王母冷哼，不悦地说：“你以为玉山王母是说做就做，说不做就不做的吗？”

    小夭坐到了王母身边，摇着王母的胳膊说：“我的好姨外婆，您就别逗他了！”

    王母无奈，对璟说：“起来吧！女大外向，留也留不住！”

    “谢娘娘！”璟恭恭敬敬地磕了三个头才站起。

Jing and Xiaoyao entered the room and saw the Queen Mother reclining on a peachwood couch, with Bijun and Shuihong standing respectfully by her side. Jing stepped forward and greeted her, “Junior Tushan Jing pays respects to the Queen Mother.”

The Queen Mother gave him a cold glance, sipping her hundred-flower brew, showing no desire to respond.

Jing knelt down and said, “Before Xiaoyao’s mother went to war, she entrusted Xiaoyao to Your Majesty’s care. You raised her for seventy years and continued to look after her afterward. It’s only right for Xiaoyao to serve you, but she is my wife, and I cannot let her take over Mt Jade.”

The Queen Mother snorted coldly, displeased, and said, “Do you think the Queen Mother of Mt Jade is a position that can be taken up on a whim?”

Xiaoyao sat beside the Queen Mother, shaking her arm and said, “My dear great-aunt, stop teasing him!”

The Queen Mother sighed helplessly and said to Jing, “Stand up! Once a daughter is grown, you can’t keep her even if you try!”

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” Jing respectfully kowtowed three times before standing up.

长相思第49章 结发两不疑(1)

原来璟已经知道，不用亲口对璟解释，小夭竟然松了口气，低声道：“对不起！”

    璟长叹了口气，把小夭揽进怀里：“不要自责，这不是你的错。”

    “你……你……知道颛顼想杀你的原因？”

    “即使当时没有想到，现在也明白了。”

    小夭喃喃说：“既然你已经知道了，那你小心一点。我去见他，等他走了，就没事了。”

    璟说：“我去神农山找你时，和黄帝陛下聊了几句，我想我也犯了一个大错，我们现在就去见黑帝陛下，把一切说清楚。”

    小夭迟疑，不是不想见颛顼，可她怕！

    璟说：“黑帝陛下是你最信任的人，不要因为一次错误，就失去了对他的信心！你有没有想过，为什么陛下没有阻止你嫁给丰隆，却要阻止你嫁给我？难道当年他看着你出嫁就不痛苦吗？”

    “因为……他觉得你不如丰隆。”

    璟摇摇头：“这只是表面的原因，最重要的原因是陛下认定我没有能力保护你！从小到大，陛下承受了太多失去，他怎么可能把你托付给一个懦弱无能的人？告诉我，去崖顶的路在哪里？”

It turned out that Jing already knew, and Xiaoyao felt relieved that she didn’t have to explain it to him directly. She whispered, “I’m sorry!”

Jing sighed deeply and pulled Xiaoyao into his arms. “Don’t blame yourself; this isn’t your fault.”

“Do you… do you know why Zhuanxu wants to kill you?”

“Even if I hadn’t figured it out at the time, I understand now.”

Xiaoyao murmured, “Since you already know, be careful. I’ll go see him, and once he’s gone, everything will be fine.”

Jing said, “When I went to Shennong Mountain to find you, I spoke with Emperor Huangdi for a bit. I think I made a big mistake. We should go see the Black Emperor now and explain everything clearly.”

Xiaoyao hesitated, not because she didn’t want to see Zhuanxu, but because she was afraid.

Jing said, “The Black Emperor is the person you trust the most. Don’t lose confidence in him because of one mistake!

Have you ever thought about why he didn’t stop you from marrying Fenglong, but wants to stop you from marrying me? Didn’t it pain him to see you get married back then?”

“Because… he thinks you’re not as good as Fenglong.”

Jing shook his head. “That’s just the reason on the surface. The most important reason is that the Emperor believes I don’t have the ability to protect you! He’s endured too much loss since childhood. How could he entrust you to a weak and incompetent person?
Tell me, where is the path to the cliff?”

长相思第48章 相逢犹恐是梦中(2)

小六起身要走，璟抓住了他的胳膊。

    小六拽了几次，璟都没有放，小六第一次意识到，一贯温和的十七其实力量很强大，足以掌控他。

Xiao Liu stood up to leave, but Jing grabbed his arm.

Xiao Liu tugged a few times, but Jing didn’t let go. For the first time, Xiao Liu realized that the usually gentle Shiqi actually had great strength, enough to control him.

长相思第11章 欲将此身寄山河(1)

 小夭的身体有点僵，她能感觉到身后还有一人在看着她。

    小夭不知道该是什么心情，她跟着防风邶学习箭术已经有十六个月，以涂山氏的力量，以她和防风邶的身份，璟早就应该听闻了她和防风邶的事。或者说，在刚开始，当她还没了解防风邶的随性浪荡时，她不相信防风邶会真正传授她箭术，她也没打算真跟他学，小夭没有抗拒防风邶的接近，只是因为她清楚地知道她和防风邶走到一起的消息会飞进每个世家大族的深宅大院内。璟当然也会听到，而小夭就是想让他听到。小夭不明白自己为什么想这么做，她也懒得去想，反正这么做她觉得高兴，她就这么做了。

Xiaoyao’s body stiffened slightly; she could feel someone else behind her, watching her.

Xiaoyao wasn’t sure how she felt. She had been learning archery from Fangfeng Bei for sixteen months now. Given the power of the Tushan clan and the status of both her and Fangfeng Bei, Jing must have long heard about her and Fangfeng Bei. Or rather, from the very beginning, when she still didn’t understand Fangfeng Bei’s carefree and wandering nature, she hadn’t believed he would truly teach her archery, nor did she plan to genuinely learn from him. Xiaoyao hadn’t resisted Fangfeng Bei’s approach simply because she knew that the news of them being together would spread into the deep halls of every noble family. Of course, Jing would hear about it too, and Xiaoyao had wanted him to. She didn’t understand why she wanted this, and she didn’t care to think about it. As long as it made her happy, so she did it.

  “我刚在街上碰到……涂山璟和防风意映。”

    “嗯，他们下午就到了，估计再过几日，丰隆和馨悦也会来。”

    “他们怎么都来了？发生了什么事？”

    颛顼说道：“小夭，这是轩辕城！轩辕国的都城！关系到大半个大荒的政令都是从这座城池中颁布出去。不管是赤水、涂山，还是神农、防风，他们的家族命运都和这座城池的政令息息相关。每个家族的重要子弟隔几年都会特意来轩辕城住一段日子。交好的，自然而然也就常常约好时间一起来。”

    小夭沉默，好似很失望，颛顼问：“怎么了？”

“I just ran into… Tushan Jing and Fangfeng Yiying on the street.”

“Yes, they arrived this afternoon. I expect that in a few days, Fenglong and Xinyue will be here as well.”

“Why are they all here? Did something happen?”

Zhuanxu replied, “Xiaoyao, this is Xuanyuan City! The capital of Xuanyuan Nation! The policies that govern most of the Great Wilderness are issued from this city. Whether it’s Chishui, Tushan, Shennong, or Fangfeng, their families’ fates are closely tied to the decrees of this city. Every few years, the key members of each family come to Xuanyuan City to stay for a while. Naturally, those with close ties often arrange to come together.”

Xiaoyao remained silent, as if very disappointed.
Zhuanxu asked, “What’s wrong?”

长相思第45章 思君恨君君不知(2)

  颛顼拉住天马的缰绳，“你在故意躲着璟吗？”

    “没有。”

    “这几天，他每天都来找我，我想，他还没有闲到想天天见我。”

Zhuan Xu grabbed the reins of the heavenly horse.
“Are you deliberately avoiding Jing?”

“No.”

“These past few days, he’s been coming to see me every day. I don’t think he’s so free that he wants to see me every day.”

长相思第45章 思君恨君君不知(2)

小夭在他们身后，清晰地看到左耳肩膀紧绷，仅剩下的那只耳朵变得通红。小夭不禁偷偷地笑，谁能想到出手那么冷酷狠毒的左耳竟然会羞涩紧张？

小夭心中渐渐弥漫起了苦涩，她的璟也曾这样羞涩拘谨，也曾这样笨拙木讷。
当年，小夭常被他气得以为他不够喜欢、不够在意，甚至想过斩断那丝牵念。
可当一切都经历过，回首再看，才明白那份羞涩拘谨、笨拙木讷是多么可贵，那是最初、也是最真的心。

Xiaoyao, standing behind them, clearly saw Zuo er’s tense shoulders and his remaining ear turning bright red. She couldn’t help but laugh to herself. Who would have thought that Zuo er, who acted so ruthlessly and cruelly, could ever feel shy and nervous?

A bittersweet feeling gradually spread in Xiaoyao’s heart.

Her Jing had also been shy and reserved, clumsy and awkward like this.
Back then, Xiaoyao often got so frustrated with him that she thought he didn’t care enough or wasn’t attentive enough and even considered cutting off their connection.
But after going through everything and looking back, she realized how precious that shyness, reservation, clumsiness, and awkwardness were. They were the truest and most genuine expressions of the heart.

长相思第34章 故人心易变(2)

她想他！她对璟的思念，超过了任何人以为的程度，甚至吓住了她自己。   

 她一直以为自己把一切控制得很好，即使璟离开，她也能坦然接受。可是，当一切发生时，她才发现高估了自己。她能凭借强大的意志，理智地处理整件事情，控制自己的行为，不生气、不迁怒、不失态、不去见他，依旧若无其事地过日子，可是每个夜晚，她控制不了自己的思念。


She missed him! Her longing for Jing far exceeded what anyone could have imagined, even to the point of frightening herself.

She had always thought she had everything under control, that even if Jing left, she could accept it calmly. But when it all happened, she realized she had overestimated herself. She could, through sheer willpower, rationally handle the entire situation—controlling her actions, not getting angry, not taking it out on others, not losing her composure, and not going to see him. She continued living as if nothing had happened in the day, but each night, she couldn’t control her longing for him.

长相思第28章 风回处，寄珍重(3)

小夭心内咯噔一下，他生病了吗？看上去病得不轻，那又何必亲自来参加婚礼？是他自己想来，还是因为怕丰隆认为他心有芥蒂不得不来？可有人知道他生病……一时间，小夭思绪纷杂。

    丰隆悄声叫她：“小夭！”

    小夭愣了一愣，才反应过来，现在是她和丰隆的婚礼。难言的苦涩弥漫上心头，从今往后，璟的事和她有什么相关？

Xiaoyao’s heart skipped a beat. Was he sick? He looked seriously ill. But why did he insist on attending the wedding in person? Was it his own decision, or was he afraid that Fenglong might think he was harboring resentment and felt obliged to come? Did anyone know he was ill? For a moment, Xiaoyao’s thoughts were in a jumble.

Fenglong called her softly, “Xiaoyao!”

Xiaoyao snapped out of her daze and realized it was her wedding with Fenglong. A deep bitterness welled up inside her. From now on, what did Jing’s affairs have to do with her?

长相思第44章 只影向谁去(1)

“可是，当我遇见了你时，才明白不管以前想过多少，当碰到喜欢的那个人时，一切的条件都不再是条件。”

“But,” Jing said gently, “when I met you, I realized that no matter how many conditions one might have considered before, when you encounter someone you truly like, those conditions no longer matter.”

长相思第16章 兵戈近，空奈何(3)

“我逃婚看似牵扯了很多人，但其实，和任何人无关，最根本的原因就是，我不喜欢丰隆。你应该能理解，真喜欢一个人，没有人能挡得住，不喜欢那个人，任何一个理由都会是放弃的理由。”

“My act of running away from the wedding seems to have involved many people, but in reality, it has nothing to do with anyone else. The core reason is simply that I don’t like Fenglong. You should understand—when you truly like someone, nothing can stop you. But if you don’t like them, any reason becomes an excuse to give up.”

长相思第48章 风不定，人初静(3)

 意映一边随意打量陈列出的兵器，一边漫不经心地说：“璟，麻烦你帮二哥把弓箭的钱一起付了吧！”

    那种理所当然一下子让小夭很不舒服。小夭也不知道为什么，反正就是觉得这一刻任何一个男人都可以为她付账，唯独璟不行！

    小夭从伙计手里拿过包好的弓箭，塞进邶怀里，带着点撒娇，笑眯眯地说：“如果是璟公子付钱的话，那不就成璟公子送我的了吗？”

    邶盯着小夭，眼神很冷。

Yiying casually examined the weapons on display as she nonchalantly said, “Jing, could you please pay for the bow and arrows for my second brother as well?”

That sense of entitlement instantly made Xiaoyao uncomfortable.
She wasn’t sure why, but at that moment, she felt that any man could pay for her, except Jing!

Xiaoyao took the wrapped bow and arrows from the shop assistant, stuffed them into Bei’s arms, and with a playful tone, smilingly said, “If Young Master Jing pays, wouldn’t that mean it’s a gift from him to me?”

Bei stared coldly at Xiaoyao.

长相思第4章 风露立中宵(1)

 小夭说道：“我承诺了等你十五年，只要你没娶亲，我就会做到。

Xiaoyao said, “I promised to wait for you for fifteen years. As long as you don’t marry, I will keep that promise.”

长相思第5章 风露立中宵(2)

 颛顼说：“就算他肯放弃涂山璟的身份，但你和我都明白，有些牵绊流淌在血脉中，根本不是想放弃就能放弃，想割舍就能割舍。涂山氏的太夫人是出了名的硬骨头，十分固执难缠，你想过将来吗？”

    “将来如何不取决于我，而取决于他，我只是愿意等他给我个结果。”

    颛顼嘟囔：“也不见你愿意等别人，可见他在你心中还是特殊的。”

Zhuan Xu said, “Even if he’s willing to give up the identity of Tushan Jing, you and I both know that some ties run deep in the blood, and they can’t simply be abandoned or severed just because he wants to. The Grand Madam of the Tushan family is notoriously stubborn and difficult to deal with. Have you thought about the future?”

“The future doesn’t depend on me; it depends on him. I’m just willing to wait for him to give me an answer.”

Zhuan Xu mumbled, “You’ve never been willing to wait for anyone else, so it’s clear he holds a special place in your heart.“

长相思第16章 但感别时久(5)

小夭又是怜又是恨：“你、你……怎么就不能对自己心狠点？哪里就会离开一个男人，真没办法过日子了？不过剜心之痛而已！”

    ……

    小夭不解，忘不了？难道以神族漫长的生命，都会忘不掉一个人吗？

Xiaoyao felt both pity and frustration. “You… you… why can’t you be a bit tougher on yourself? Why can’t you live without a man? It’s just the pain of tearing your heart out, nothing more!”

…

Xiaoyao was puzzled. Unable to forget? Could it be that even with the long lifespan of the divine race, one still can’t forget a person?

长相思第22章 爱恨两依依(3)

璟对小夭说：“我不打算公开处置篌和意映，瑱儿依旧记名为我的儿子，只有这样，他才不会在辱骂中长大。小夭，如果你不愿意……”

    “不，我同意你和外爷的意思，越隐秘处理越好。”是非对错自己明白就好，没必要摊开给天下人议论，更没必要在此事上让璟和全族的荣辱对立。

Jing said to Xiaoyao, “I don’t plan to publicly deal with Hou and Yiying. Tian’er will continue to be recognized as my son. Only this way will he avoid growing up under insults. Xiaoyao, if you’re not willing…”

“No, I agree with you and Grandfather’s decision. The more discreetly it’s handled, the better.” As long as they understood the rights and wrongs themselves, that was enough. There was no need to expose it for the world to judge, and certainly no need to pit Jing against the honor of the entire clan over this matter.

长相思第4章 东风恶，欢情薄(4)

黄帝说：“小夭，璟不会回来了，你的一生还很长，你忘记他吧！”

The Yellow Emperor said, “Xiaoyao, Jing won’t be coming back. You have a long life ahead of you. You have to forget him!”

长相思第28章 魂梦安能定(3)

 望日是月满之日，璟选定这个日子成婚，应该想要他们的婚姻圆圆满满吧？可竟然是团圆月不照团圆人。

    小夭告诉黄帝她只是需要时间，可是，这个时间究竟是多久呢？究竟要有多久才能不心痛？

    小夭问：“苗莆，你说究竟要有多久我才能不心痛？”

    苗莆讷讷地说：“大概就像受了重伤一样，刚开始总会很痛，慢慢地，伤口结疤，痛得轻一点，再后来，伤疤慢慢脱落，就不怎么疼了。”

    小夭颔首，她不是没受过伤，她很清楚如何才能不痛苦。

    想要不痛苦，就要遗忘！时间就像黄沙，总能将人心上的一切都掩埋。

    可是——

    璟，我不愿意！

    如果不痛苦的代价是遗忘你，我宁愿一直痛苦，我会让你永远活在我心里，直到我生命的尽头。

The full moon marks the day of union, and Jing chose this day for their wedding, likely wishing for their marriage to be complete and fulfilling. Yet, under this full reunion moon, they are not together.

Xiaoyao had told the Yellow Emperor that she just needed time. But how long would that time be? How long would it take for the pain to go away?

Xiaoyao asked, “Miao Pu, how long do you think it will take before my heart would stop hurting?”

Miao Pu hesitantly replied, “It’s probably like suffering a serious injury. At first, it always hurts a lot, but gradually, as the wound scars over, the pain becomes less intense. Eventually, when the scar fades away, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”

Xiaoyao nodded. She had been wounded before and knew very well how to stop feeling pain.

To be free from pain, one must forget!
Time, like sand, has the power to bury everything in a person’s heart.

But—

Jing, I refuse!

If the price of being free from pain is forgetting you, then I’d rather continue hurting. I will keep you alive in my heart until the end of my days.

长相思第28章 魂梦安能定(3)

小夭一头扑进了璟的怀里，泪水滚滚而下，呜呜咽咽地说：“璟，璟，你终于回来了！”

    璟拥着她说：“别哭……别哭……”

    小夭却号啕大哭起来，一边泪如雨落，一边捶打着璟：“我一直等你，一直在等你，我不相信你死了，每个月圆的日子都以为你会回来，可你总是失约！我等了太久，以为你不会再回来了……我以为你真的扔下我了……我恨你，恨你……”

    璟由着小夭又打又骂，一遍遍说：“我知道你吃了很多苦，是我失约了，对不起！对不起！”

Xiaoyao threw herself into Jing’s arms, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, “Jing, Jing, you’re finally back!”

Jing held her and said, “Don’t cry… don’t cry…”

But Xiaoyao began to wail even louder, her tears falling like rain as she pounded on Jing, “I waited for you, I kept waiting for you. I didn’t believe you were dead.
Every full moon, I thought you would come back, but you always failed to show! I waited so long, thinking you would never return… I thought you really abandoned me… I hate you, I hate you…”

Jing let Xiaoyao hit and scold him, repeatedly saying, “I know you’ve suffered a lot. I broke my promise. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

长相思第48章 相逢犹恐是梦中(2)

小夭望着碧蓝的天空，没有被欺骗的愤怒、没有将死的恐惧，只有希望破灭后的悲伤。从小到大，她一直活得很辛苦，一颗心一直在漂泊，总觉得自己随时会被抛弃，和璟订婚后，一颗心终于安稳了，本以为一切都不一样了，可没想到璟竟然走了，他像她的父母一样，也因为不得已的原因，不得不抛弃了她！未来的日子太漫长，她不想再痛苦地坚持，既然璟长眠在这片海域中，她愿意和他在一起。

Xiaoyao gazed at the azure sky, feeling no anger from being deceived, no fear of impending death, only the sorrow of shattered hopes. She had lived a difficult life, her heart constantly drifting, always fearing abandonment. After getting engaged to Jing, she finally felt secure, thinking everything would be different. But she hadn’t expected Jing to leave her. Just like her parents, he was also forced to abandon her! The days ahead seemed too long, and she no longer wanted to endure the pain. Since Jing was now resting in this sea, she was willing to be with him.

长相思第29章 日日思君不见君(1)

小夭默默地流着泪，不敢告诉颛顼，那一刻，她放弃了！她忘记了一切，也忘记了颛顼，没有尽力逃生，竟然只想结束痛苦。小夭对颛顼许诺：“以后我不会了。”

   颛顼以为她是说以后绝不会再轻信别人、上当中计。

Xiaoyao silently shed tears, not daring to tell Zhuanxu that, in that moment, she had given up. She had forgotten everything, even Zhuanxu, and didn’t try to escape, only wanting to end the pain. Xiaoyao promised Zhuanxu, “I won’t do it again in the future.”

Zhuanxu thought she meant that she would never again easily trust others or fall into a trap.

长相思第32章 日日思君不见君(4)

小夭哼唱起了那些伴随着她和颛顼长大的古老歌谣，在低沉舒缓的哼唱声中，颛顼沉睡了过去。

    小夭闭着眼睛，仍旧随意地哼唱着。也不知道什么时候，旋律变成了那首踏歌：

    缘何世间有悲欢

    缘何人生有聚散

    唯愿与君

    长相守、不分离……

    小夭的眼角，一颗颗泪珠，缓缓滑落。

Xiaoyao softly hummed the old lullabies that had accompanied her and Zhuanxu as they grew up. As the low, soothing melody filled the air, Zhuanxu drifted off to sleep.

With her eyes closed, Xiaoyao continued to hum, the tune eventually shifting into that familiar song:

Why does the world have joy and sorrow?
Why does life have unions and separations?
I only wish to be with you,
To stay together, never to part…

Tears slowly trickled down from the corners of Xiaoyao’s eyes.

长相思第32章 日日思君不见君(4)

章莪殿里所有婚庆的饰物，已经全部摘去，就好像什么事都没有发生过，没有人提璟，也没有人提小夭失踪的事。小夭的生活变得和以前一样，不管是黄帝，还是颛顼，都表现得没有什么不一样，可小夭知道不一样了——当她眺望天际时，即使看上一整天，也不会再看到一只白鹤驮着璟翩翩而来。

All the wedding decorations in the Zhang’e Hall had been taken down, as if nothing had ever happened. No one mentioned Jing, and no one spoke of Xiaoyao’s disappearance. Xiaoyao’s life returned to how it was before. Neither the Emperor Huang nor Zhuanxu acted any differently, but Xiaoyao knew things had changed—when she gazed at the horizon, even if she stared all day, she would never again see a white crane carrying Jing gracefully toward her.

长相思第33章 故人心易变(1)

 小夭说：“这段日子，外爷给我讲了一堆大道理，什么家国天下的。可是我不是我娘，我的心很小，只装得下我在乎的人，装不下天下万民。我以前装模作样地关心什么家国天下、万民苍生，只是因为你在乎，但我现在恨你！那些和我没有关系！”

    颛顼笑了笑说：“那些的确和你没关系！”

    小夭说：“所以，不管外爷说什么，我还是要杀了你。你杀了璟，我一定要杀了你，你明白吗？”

Xiaoyao said, “During this time, my grandfather has been lecturing me about grand principles, about family and country, and the world. But I’m not my mother. My heart is small; it can only hold the people I care about, not the entire world. I used to pretend to care about family and country, the well-being of the people, only because you cared. But now I hate you! Those things have nothing to do with me!”

Zhuanxu smiled and said, “Indeed, those things have nothing to do with you!”

Xiaoyao replied, “So, no matter what my grandfather says, I still want to kill you. You killed Jing, so I must kill you. Do you understand?”

长相思第44章 道凄凉，与谁说(3)

    “你到现在，还没忘记他？”

    小夭想嘴硬地说“忘记了”，可她欺骗不了自己。

    自从失去了璟，她再没有睡过整觉。

她想他！她对璟的思念，超过了任何人以为的程度，甚至吓住了她自己。

    她一直以为自己把一切控制得很好，即使璟离开，她也能坦然接受。可是，当一切发生时，她才发现高估了自己。她能凭借强大的意志，理智地处理整件事情，控制自己的行为，不生气、不迁怒、不失态、不去见他，依旧若无其事地过日子，可是每个夜晚，她控制不了自己的思念。

    有一次，她梦到了璟在吻她，梦里甘甜如蜜，惊醒时，却满嘴苦涩，连喝下的蜜水都发苦。

    小夭不想回忆，可不管睁开眼睛、闭上眼睛，心里的一幕幕全是两人耳鬓厮磨时。记忆是那么清晰，温存似乎还留在唇畔，却一切不可再得。

    每次想到，以后再看不到他，听不到他说话，他的一切与自己无关，她的生命里也不会再有他的身影，那种痛苦，让小夭觉得，宁愿永坠梦里，再不醒来。

    小夭低声说：“我以为一切都在我的掌控中，可原来，感情是不由人控制的。”

“You still haven’t forgotten him?”

Xiaoyao wanted to stubbornly say, “I’ve forgotten,” but she couldn’t lie to herself.

Since losing Jing, she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep.

She missed him! Her longing for Jing far exceeded what anyone could have imagined, even to the point of frightening herself.

She had always thought she had everything under control, that even if Jing left, she could accept it calmly. But when it all happened, she realized she had overestimated herself. She could, through sheer willpower, rationally handle the entire situation—controlling her actions, not getting angry, not taking it out on others, not losing her composure, and not going to see him. She continued living as if nothing had happened, but each night, she couldn’t control her longing for him.

Once, she dreamed of Jing kissing her. In the dream, it was as sweet as honey, but when she woke, her mouth was filled with bitterness, even the honey water she drank tasted bitter.

Xiaoyao didn’t want to dwell on the memories, but whether her eyes were open or closed, all she could see were the moments they spent together in intimate closeness. The memories were so vivid, the tenderness seemed to still linger on her lips, yet none of it could be regained.

Every time she thought about never seeing him again, never hearing his voice, that he would no longer be part of her life, and that his presence would be absent from her world, the pain was so intense that Xiaoyao felt she would rather stay trapped in her dreams forever, never waking.

In a low voice, Xiaoyao said, “I thought I had everything under control, but it turns out emotions are beyond anyone’s control.”

长相思第28章 风回处，寄珍重(3)

  小夭推着颛顼往外走，笑道：“我和璟之间的事，你只是适逢其会，何况我并不后悔喜欢他，你又何必赶着自责？不要担心，时间会抚平一切，我只是还需要一些时间去忘记他。”

    颛顼扭头：“小夭……”

    小夭嚷：“睡觉了！一大堆人的生死都系在你身上，你必须保持清醒的头脑！”

    颛顼说：“好！你也好好休息。”

    “放心吧，我从不亏待自己。”

    小夭关上了门，走到榻旁，缓缓躺倒。

    她很清楚今夜不借助药物，怕是难以入睡，取了颗药丸吞下。药效发作后，昏睡了过去。

    白日里，因为颛顼，心神分散，反而好过一些，梦里却再无外事打扰，所有的难过都涌现。

    梦到了璟，小夭从没见过他的儿子，梦里的小孩看不到脸，伏在璟怀里，甜甜地叫爹爹，璟在温柔地笑。

Xiaoyao pushed Zhuanxu out the door, smiling as she said, “The matter between Jing and me just happened by chance. Besides, I don’t regret liking him, so there’s no need for you to feel guilty. Don’t worry, time will heal everything. I just need some time to forget him.”

Zhuanxu turned his head and said, “Xiaoyao…”

Xiaoyao shouted, “Go to sleep! So many lives depend on you; you must keep a clear head!”

Zhuanxu responded, “Alright! You should rest well too.”

“Don’t worry, I never mistreat myself.”

Xiaoyao closed the door, walked to the bed, and slowly lay down.

She knew very well that without the help of medicine, she would find it hard to sleep tonight, so she took a pill and swallowed it. As the medicine took effect, she fell into a deep sleep.

During the day, her mind had been distracted because of Zhuanxu, which made things slightly better. But in her dreams, there were no outside disturbances, and all her sorrow surfaced.

She dreamed of Jing. Xiaoyao had never seen his son before, and in the dream, the child’s face was unclear. The boy leaned against Jing, sweetly calling him “Father,” while Jing smiled gently.

长相思第31章 等闲平地起波澜(3)

小夭说：“这些年，我夜里总是睡不好，常常把过去的事翻来覆去地想。”

    璟满面惊讶，这些年，他也从没睡过一夜安稳觉，也总会把过往的事翻来覆去地想，可小夭一直表现得太若无其事，让璟总觉得小夭已经彻底放下他。

Xiaoyao said, “These past years, I haven’t been able to sleep well at night. I often find myself thinking over and over about the past.”

Jing was completely surprised. He hadn’t had a single restful night’s sleep in years either, always dwelling on the past. But Xiaoyao had always acted so indifferent that Jing thought she had completely moved on from him.

长相思第46章 风不定，人初静(1)

小夭的眼中有隐隐泪光：“每个夜里，我失眠时，都会想起过去的事情。我很清楚地知道自己错了，我因为自己的自以为是，因为自己的悲观消极，因为自己的不信任，失去了我喜欢的人。当时只要我稍稍做点努力，肯多说一点，多做一点，也许结果就会截然不同。颛顼看我一直不能释然，以为我依旧恨着你，其实不是，我一直无法释然的是自己。璟，你无须再自责，也无须对我觉得愧疚。我们俩在外人眼里，也许都是精明人，可我们在处理自己的感情时，都犯了错。人生有的错误，有机会纠正，有的错误，却没有机会纠正……”

    每个夜里，从过去的梦里惊醒，知道自己错了，可一切已经无法挽回，那种痛苦就好似有人用锯子锯着她的骨头。但，一切已经无法挽回……

Tears glimmered faintly in Xiaoyao’s eyes. “Every night, when I can’t sleep, I think about the past. I know very clearly that I was wrong. Because of my arrogance, my pessimism, and my distrust, I have lost the person I like. Back then, if I had just made a bit more effort, said a little more, done a little more, maybe the outcome would have been completely different. Zhuanxu saw that I couldn’t let go and thought I still hated you, but that’s not it. I’ve never been able to forgive myself. Jing, you don’t need to blame yourself anymore, and you don’t need to feel guilty towards me. To outsiders, we might both seem clever, but when it came to handling our own feelings, we both made mistakes. Some mistakes in life can be corrected, but others… there’s no chance to fix them.”

Every night, she woke from dreams of the past, fully aware of her mistakes, but knowing that nothing could be undone. That pain felt as if someone were sawing through her bones. But still, nothing could be undone…

长相思第46章 风不定，人初静(1)

小夭为璟重病，卧榻不起，他夜夜守着她。无数个深夜，看着她在昏睡中哭泣，他痛恨得到却不珍惜的涂山璟，可更痛恨自己。

Xiaoyao was bedridden with a severe illness because of Jing, he had watched over her every night. In countless late nights, as he saw her weep in her sleep, he loathed Tushan Jing who had won her heart but failed to cherish her. Yet, he hated himself even more.

长相思第16章 兵戈近，空奈何(3)

 小夭颓然，是啊！肉体的疼痛可以自己刺伤自己，但，伤心和开心却作不得假。

Xiaoyao felt despondent. Yes, physical pain can be inflicted on oneself, but heartbreak and joy cannot be faked.

长相思第26章 风回处，寄珍重(1)

相柳似真似假地说：“你以后别闹心痛，再给我添麻烦，说不定我就决定把你杀了！”

    小夭不满：“当年又不是我强迫着你种蛊。”

    “当年，我知道你很没用，肯定会时常受伤，但没想到你这么没用，连自己的心都护不住。”

Xiangliu, half-seriously, said, “Don’t get heartaches anymore and cause me trouble. Who knows, I might just decide to kill you!”

Xiaoyao protested, “I didn’t force you to plant the poisonous bug all those years ago.”

“Back then, I knew you were pretty useless and would definitely get hurt often, but I didn’t expect you to be so useless that you couldn’t even protect your own heart.”

长相思第26章 风回处，寄珍重(1)

小夭觉得心口闷得发疼，不禁翻身坐起，大口地吸着气。本来只是失眠，可日子长了，竟好似落下了心痛的毛病。她知道相柳又要被她打扰到了。

Xiaoyao felt a tight pain in her chest and couldn’t help but sit up, taking deep breaths. What started as simple insomnia had, over time, seemingly developed into a lingering heartache. She knew she would disturb Xiangliu again.

长相思第38章 欲归道无因(1)

“你的失眠比以前好了？”

    “自从开始专心学习医术，比以前好了很多。”
虽然还是难以入睡，可从梦中惊醒的次数却少了很多。因为睡得好了，心痛的毛病也大大减轻。

    颛顼的眼神很是复杂，小夭这病是因璟而起，虽然她现在绝口不提璟，可显然，这么多年过去，她依旧没有忘记璟。

“Has your insomnia improved?”

“Ever since I started focusing on studying medicine, it’s gotten much better than before.”
Although she still had trouble falling asleep, she woke up from nightmares far less frequently. Because she was sleeping better, the pain in her heart had also significantly lessened.

Zhuanxu’s expression was complex. Xiaoyao’s illness had started because of Jing.
Even though she never mentioned Jing anymore, it was clear that after all these years, she still hadn’t forgotten him.

长相思第41章 追往事，空惨愁颜(1)

 璟把散开的盒子，用绳子系好：“散到地上的*甘松香就不要了，我让伙计再帮你重新装一份。”

    小夭只觉眼眶发酸，眼泪就要滚下，她突然站起，顺着长街奔了出去，却不知道要去哪里，只是想远离。

    她一直告诉自己，失去一个男人，不算什么，依旧可以过得很好。她也一直凭借意志，将一切控制得很好，可此时此刻，积郁在胸腹间的情绪突然失控了。

Jing tied up the opened box with a string and said, “Forget about the spikenard that spilled on the ground. I’ll ask one of the workers to pack a new batch for you.”

Xiaoyao’s eyes stung, and her tears were on the verge of falling. She suddenly stood up and ran down the long street, not knowing where she was going, only wanting to get away.

She kept telling herself that losing a man was no big deal, that she could still live well. She had always relied on her willpower to keep everything under control, but at this moment, the emotions bottled up in her chest suddenly spiraled out of control.

长相思第37章 烟水茫，意难忘(2)

 小夭鼻子发酸，从小到大，每走一步，只要有半点软弱，肯定就是死，她从不允许自己软弱。她自己都不明白，那么艰难痛苦的日子都走过来了，现在她会受不了？可是，每每午夜梦回时，悲伤痛苦都像潮涌一般，将她淹没。

Xiaoyao’s nose tingled with sadness. From childhood to adulthood, every step she took, even the slightest weakness would mean death, so she never allowed herself to be weak. She couldn’t understand it herself—having survived such difficult and painful days, how could she not endure now? Yet, every time she woke from a dream in the middle of the night, the sorrow and pain surged like a tide, overwhelming her.

长相思第37章 烟水茫，意难忘(2)

相柳问：“你夜里睡不好的毛病还没好？”

Xiangliu asked, “You still haven’t gotten over your problem with sleeping poorly at night?”

长相思第45章 只影向谁去(2)

  小夭磕了个头，起身要走，黄帝又说道：“我很喜欢璟那孩子，但不管怎么样，你和他没有缘分，他已经死了，你忘记他吧！从今往后，你安心留在神农山，颛顼会给你一世安稳。”

    小夭没有吭声，低着头回了自己的屋子。连着两夜没有睡好，她很疲惫，却睡不着，配了点药喝下，才有了睡意。迷迷糊糊中，她悲伤地想，本以为再也用不着这些药，没有想到，又要开始依靠药物才能入眠了。

Xiaoyao bowed her head, stood up, and was about to leave when the Yellow Emperor spoke again, “I liked Jing very much, but no matter what, you and he were not destined to be together. He is gone now; you should forget him! From now on, stay at Mount Shennong peacefully—Zhuanxu will ensure you a lifetime of stability.”

Xiaoyao said nothing, lowering her head as she returned to her room. After two sleepless nights, she was exhausted but still couldn’t fall asleep. She mixed some medicine and drank it, finally feeling drowsy. In her haze, she thought sadly that she had hoped never to need those drugs again, but now she had to rely on them to sleep once more.

长相思第32章 日日思君不见君(4)

我刚遇见璟时，他比最肮脏的乞丐都肮脏，本来只是一念间的随手相救，并不在乎他的生死。可当我发现他身上的伤时，好似看到了很多年前的自己，突然萌生了强烈的渴望，渴望他活下去！似乎只要他能克服一切阴影，好好地活着，我就能看到自己痊愈的希望。我自己经历过那一切，我很清楚，被那么残忍地折磨羞辱后，变得偏激、冷漠、多疑，很容易，想要依旧温和善良、信任他人，却非常非常难！但璟做到了！他让我明白，不管别人怎么对我们，我们都可以选择让自己的心依旧柔软美好。哥哥，你觉得他处置篌时优柔寡断，可你告诉我，如果有朝一日，我突然背叛了你、伤害了你，你能痛快地杀了我吗？”

    颛顼斩钉截铁地说：“你根本不可能背叛我，更不可能做伤害我的事！”

    “璟对篌何尝不是这样的信念呢？篌是璟信任敬爱的大哥，在篌做出那些事之前，璟就如你今日一样，坚信篌不可能伤害他。我本来以为，璟经历了篌的背叛和伤害，无论如何都会变得冷漠多疑、心狠手辣一些，就如你和我的改变，但是他没有！哥哥，难道你不觉得这是另外一种坚强吗？看似和我们不同，但璟只是以自己选择的方式去打败他所遇见的苦难。”

“When I first met Jing, he was dirtier than the dirtiest beggar. It was initially just a spontaneous act of saving him without caring about his life or death. But when I saw his injuries, it was as if I saw myself from many years ago. Suddenly, a strong desire to see him live arose within me! It felt like if he could overcome all the shadows and live well, I might see hope for my own recovery. I have experienced everything myself, and I understand that after being so cruelly tortured and humiliated, becoming extreme, indifferent, and suspicious is easy.

Wanting to remain kind-hearted and trusting others is very, very hard! But Jing achieved it! He showed me that no matter how others treat us, we can choose to keep our hearts soft and beautiful.

Brother, you think he was indecisive with Hou, but tell me, if one day I suddenly betrayed you or harmed you, could you easily kill me?”

Zhuanxu said firmly, “You would never betray me, let alone harm me!”

“Isn’t Jing’s belief in dealing with Hou the same? Hou was Jing’s trusted and respected elder brother. Before he did those things, Jing, just like you today, firmly believed that Hou would not harm him.

I originally thought that Jing, having experienced Hou’s betrayal and harm, would inevitably become cold, suspicious, and ruthless, just like the changes you and I have gone through.
But he didn’t! Brother, don’t you think this is another kind of strength? It may seem different from ours, but Jing just chose his own way to overcome the suffering he encountered.”

长相思第43章 道凄凉，与谁说(2)

   颛顼轻声问：“小夭，如果璟杀了我，你会为我如此惩罚璟吗？”

    “璟绝不会伤害你！璟知道你对我有多重要，他宁愿自己受尽一切苦，也绝不会把我放在这么痛苦的绝境中……”小夭的声音越来越小，气息越来越弱。

Zhuanxu asked softly, “Xiaoyao, if Jing killed me, would you punish him like this?”

“Jing would never harm you! Jing knows how important you are to me. He would rather endure all the suffering himself than put me in such a painful situation…” Xiaoyao’s voice grew softer and her breathing weaker.

长相思第44章 道凄凉，与谁说(3)

  小夭轻叹了口气，从今往后，神农山就远离了她的生活，她不再是承欢于黄帝膝下的孙女，也不再是陪颛顼携手而行的妹妹。小夭看了看身旁的璟，头轻轻靠在了他的肩头，从今往后，她是他的妻！

Xiaoyao let out a soft sigh. From now on, Shennong Mountain would no longer be a part of her life. She was no longer the granddaughter who enjoyed the affection of the Yellow Emperor, nor the sister who walked hand in hand with Zhuanxu. Xiaoyao glanced at Jing beside her, gently resting her head on his shoulder. From now on, she was his wife!

长相思第51章 结发两不疑(3)

颛顼恼怒下，连有九尾神狐血脉的十七也连带着厌恶上了，没好气地说：“都说九尾狐最善于变幻，你说说小夭这究竟是什么毛病，哪里有幻形术恢复不了真容的？”

In his anger, Zhuan Xu even began to resent Shiqi, who had the bloodline of the nine-tailed divine fox, and snapped, “They say nine-tailed foxes are the best at transformations.

Tell me, what exactly is wrong with Xiao Yao? How can there be a shapeshifting technique that can’t restore her true form?”

长相思第24章 眉间心上，无计相回避(3)

小六接着颛顼的棋往下走，照样是悔棋、臭棋不断。十七却很耐心，不管小六做什么，他都好脾气地说好。可他也不是敷衍着小六乱下，而是真的在和小六对弈，该吃掉棋子的地方也不留情。只不过吃完了，他会告诉小六如果前几步她下在哪里，他就不能吃掉她的棋子。

    在颛顼看来，这就好像小孩在满地打滚、胡搅蛮缠，大人既没有打他一顿阻止他，也没纵容他满足他的要求，而是慢慢地讲道理，一遍听不进去，就讲第二遍；两遍听不进去，就讲第三遍；三遍听不进去，就讲第四遍……

Xiao Liu continued to play Zhuanxu’s chess moves, constantly going back on her moves and making bad ones. Shiqi, however, was very patient. No matter what Xiao Liu did, he always responded kindly.

He wasn’t just going along with Xiao Liu’s random moves but was genuinely playing against her. When it was time to capture her pieces, he did so without hesitation. However, after capturing them, he would explain to Xiao Liu where she could have placed her pieces in previous moves to avoid being captured.

In Zhuanxu’s view, it was like a child rolling on the ground, throwing a tantrum. The adult neither punished him to stop him nor indulged his demands. Instead, the adult patiently reasoned with him.
If he didn’t listen the first time, they would explain a second time; if he didn’t listen the second time, they would explain a third time; if he didn’t listen the third time, they would explain a fourth time, and so on…

长相思第26章 惆怅有谁知(2)

颛顼和璟都在最前面，也看得最清楚。
颛顼有些生气，却不知道自己在气什么。

Zhuanxu and Jing were at the front, seeing everything clearly.
Zhuanxu was somewhat angry, though he didn’t know what he was angry about.

长相思第35章 桃之夭夭，灼灼其华(2)

小夭流露出感兴趣的样子，颛顼只得详细解释：“他本人很有才华，比起璟而言，他更刚毅霸气，听说璟失踪的那些年，涂山家的很多事都是他做主，他做得很不错，可惜璟一回来，他就必须退让。我觉得很奇怪，他们是孪生子，篌是长子，才能又不输璟，理应他的地位更重要。可很奇怪，涂山家显然更看重璟，丰隆他们也都好似不太拿篌当回事，尤其是丰隆，看上去很客气有礼，但那种客气有礼相比起他对璟的熟不拘礼，实际非常让人难受。世家子弟的圈子，看似很复杂，非常难进入，可又很简单，几个关键人物的态度能决定一切，比如他们的这个圈子，丰隆和璟表明了看重我，别人也就自然而然给了我几分尊重。篌就比较惨，丰隆虽然因为他是涂山氏接纳了他，可显然并不真正认可他。不过，我有一种感觉，篌绝不是甘愿永居人下的人，他只是在忍耐，我从他的眼里看到了野心。”

    小夭点点头，“感觉你对他的印象不坏。”

    颛顼自嘲地笑起来，“因为他其实和我的处境有点像。我们都是在忍耐，都是在等待时机能一击杀死对手，我们也都渴望向所有人证明自己。”

    小夭的神色变得凝重，颛顼说：“别担心，璟若没点手段，丰隆不会那么看重信任他，其实只要璟愿意，他完全可以先下手为强，除掉篌。可不知道他怎么想的，迟迟不动手。”颛顼拍拍她的肩膀，笑道，“看在璟的这条命是你救回来的分儿上，只要璟没有得罪你，我会盯着篌的，而且我怀疑……”颛顼眯着眼冷笑，“篌和王叔有勾结。”

Xiaoyao showed interest, and Zhuanxu had to explain in detail, “He is quite talented himself. Compared to Jing, he is more resolute and imposing. I heard that during the years Jing was missing, many things in the Tushan family were managed by him, and he did a great job. Unfortunately, once Jing returned, he had to step back.
I find it strange; they are twins, and Hou is the eldest, with talents equal to Jing’s. His position should be more important.

But oddly, the Tushan family clearly values Jing more, and Fenglong and others seem to regard Hou as less significant. Especially Fenglong, who appears very polite and courteous, but compared to his informal familiarity with Jing, his politeness feels quite uncomfortable.

The world of aristocratic families seems very complicated and hard to enter, but it’s actually quite simple. The attitude of a few key figures can determine everything. For instance, in their circle, Fenglong and Jing showing attention towards me naturally earns me some respect from others. Hou is in a worse position; although Fenglong accepted him because he is from the Tushan clan, he clearly does not truly acknowledge him. However, I have a feeling that Hou is not willing to remain beneath others forever. He is just enduring. I see ambition in his eyes.”

Xiaoyao nodded, “It seems you don’t have a bad impression of him.”

Zhuanxu smiled self-deprecatingly, “Because his situation is somewhat similar to mine. We are both enduring and waiting for the right moment to strike and kill our opponents. We both desire to prove ourselves to everyone.”

Xiaoyao’s expression became sombre. Zhuanxu said, “Don’t worry. If Jing is not capable, Fenglong wouldn’t place so much trust in him. In fact, if Jing wanted to, he could act first and eliminate Hou.
But I don’t know what he’s thinking; he hasn’t made a move.
Zhuanxu patted her shoulder and smiled, ‘Given that Jing’s life was saved by you, as long as Jing hasn’t offended you, I’ll keep an eye on Hou. And I suspect…’ Zhuanxu narrowed his eyes and sneered, ‘Hou is in collusion with Prince Uncle.'”

长相思第37章 此情无计可消除(1)

颛顼抓着秋千架，“我想想啊，面上的事就不说了。暗中的，比如涂山璟，他想接近你，我给了他机会接近你，他就必须要帮我；如果不是他，我哪里能那么容易融入丰隆他们的圈子？

还有，在丰隆、馨悦他们面前，我会让他们明白我对你有很大的影响力，他们在评估我时，势必要考虑到你的分量。这些事情看似微小，却会让决策的天平向我倾斜，以后这些事，只会越来越多，很多时候你甚至都不会意识到我已经利用了你。”

    小夭说：“感觉上，我什么都没做。”

    “你已经做了，你把我看作最重要的人，我才能肆无忌惮地利用你。涂山璟又不是傻子，现在局势明显利于王叔，帮我对涂山氏没有丝毫好处，可他知道我对你很重要，所以他才毫不犹豫地站在我这一边。

Zhuan Xu grasped the swing frame, “Let me think, I won’t mention the obvious things.

In the non-obvious matters, for example, Tushan Jing. He wanted to get close to you, so I gave him the opportunity to approach you, and in return, he must help me. If it weren’t for him, how could I have easily integrated into Fenglong and their circle?

Also, in front of Fenglong and Xinyue, I make them understand that I have great influence over you. When they evaluate me, they have to consider your importance. These seemingly small things tilt the decision-making balance in my favor. These kinds of things will only increase in the future, and many times you won’t even realize that I’ve used you.”

Xiaoliu said, “It feels like I haven’t done anything.”

“You’ve already done it. You see me as the most important person, which allows me to use you without any scruples. Tushan Jing is no fool. The current situation clearly favors my uncle, and helping me offers no benefit to the Tushan clan. But he knows that I am important to you, so he stands by my side without hesitation.”

长相思第42章 思往事，易成伤(2)

  颛顼踌躇了一瞬说：“防风邶是妾侍所出，防风家他做不了主，你和他玩可以，但……先不要和璟闹翻，我现在需要他。”颛顼低下了头，握着缰绳的手，因为用力，有些泛青。颛顼不是没有经历过屈辱，可这一瞬，他觉得最屈辱。

    小夭握住了他的手，“哥哥，不要难受，这不是什么大不了的事，我会去见璟的，并不勉强，也不是为了你，我其实……其实在对他发脾气。”

    颛顼依旧低着头，自嘲地说：“我可真是个好哥哥，连让你发点脾气都不行，要你上赶着去给男人低头。”他放开了缰绳，“去吧！”步履匆匆，向殿门走去。

Zhuanxu hesitated for a moment and said, “Fangfeng Bei is the son of a concubine. He can’t make decisions for the Fangfeng family. You can play with him, but… don’t fall out with Jing just yet. I need him right now.” Zhuanxu lowered his head, his hand gripping the reins so tightly that it turned slightly pale. Zhuanxu had endured humiliation before, but at this moment, he felt the most humiliated.

Xiaoyao held his hand, saying, “Brother, don’t be upset. This isn’t a big deal. I’ll go see Jing, not because I’m forced to, and not for your sake. Actually… actually, I was just being mad at him.”

Zhuanxu still kept his head down and said self-mockingly, “I’m really such a good brother, aren’t I? I can’t even let you throw a little tantrum. Instead, you have to rush to bow your head to a man.” He let go of the reins and said, “Go ahead!” Then, he walked quickly toward the palace doors.

长相思第45章 思君恨君君不知(2)

轩辕城时，明知道璟深夜仍在小夭屋中，他却只能装作什么都不知道，凝视着大荒的地图，枯坐到天明；紫金顶时，明知道小夭去草凹岭私会璟，通宵未归，他依旧只能装作什么都不知道，憋着一口气处理案牍文书，通宵不睡；

In Xuanyuan City, even though he knew Jing was staying in Xiaoyao’s room late into the night, he could only pretend he didn’t know, staring at the map of the Great Wilderness, sitting there in silence until dawn. At the Zijing Peak, even though he knew Xiaoyao had gone to Cao’ao Ridge to secretly meet with Jing and didn’t return all night, he still had to act as if he knew nothing, holding in his frustration while dealing with documents, staying up all night without sleeping.

长相思第42章 追往事，空惨愁颜(2)

小夭不仅见了璟，还和璟在屋中待了通宵，他凝视着大荒的地图，枯坐了一夜。

Xiaoyao not only met with Jing but also stayed in the room with Jing all through the night. He stared at the map of the Da Huang and sat there in silence the entire night.

长相思第16章 兵戈近，空奈何(3)

  颛顼一时间辨不清心中滋味，璟活着对他有百利而无一害，刚听到璟遇刺的消息时，他明明很不高兴，这会儿看到璟活着，他却也高兴不起来。颛顼笑道：“你平安就好，快快回去吧！你的傀儡受了重伤，青丘都乱成一锅粥了。”

Zhuanxu couldn’t quite discern the feelings in his heart.
Jing being alive was nothing but beneficial to him, yet when he first heard the news of Jing’s assassination attempt, he was clearly displeased. Now, seeing that Jing was alive, he still couldn’t bring himself to feel happy.

Zhuanxu smiled and said, “It’s good that you’re safe. Hurry back! Your puppet is seriously injured, and Qingqiu is in complete chaos.”

长相思第4章 风露立中宵(1)

 轩辕城时，明知道璟深夜仍在小夭屋中，他却只能装作什么都不知道，凝视着大荒的地图，枯坐到天明；紫金顶时，明知道小夭去草凹岭私会璟，通宵未归，他依旧只能装作什么都不知道，憋着一口气处理案牍文书，通宵不睡；

长相思第42章 追往事，空惨愁颜(2)

颛顼说：“我知道他在你心中与众不同，但他毕竟不是叶十七，而是涂山璟。
我收到消息，涂山氏的太夫人身体不大好，想让璟尽快接任涂山氏的族长。他背负着一族命运，并不能想做什么就做什么。璟和防风意映还有婚约，防风氏绝不会舍得放弃和涂山氏的联姻，璟想退婚，并不容易！你可别一股脑儿地扎进去！”

Zhuanxu said, “I know he is special to you, but he is not Ye Shiqi; he is Tushan Jing.
I’ve received news that the Grand Madam of the Tushan clan is not in good health and wishes for Jing to take over as the head of the Tushan clan as soon as possible. He carries the fate of his entire clan and cannot simply do as he pleases. Jing is engaged to Fangfeng Yiying, and the Fangfeng clan would never easily give up on the marriage alliance with the Tushan clan.

It won’t be easy for Jing to break off the engagement! Don’t dive headlong into this situation without thinking!”

长相思第2章 青梅赋相思(2)

潇潇对丰隆简洁明了地说：“我们进入阵势中搜救王姬，找到王姬时，看到璟公子护着王姬，如果不是璟公子用灵气护住了王姬，王姬的身体只怕早就焚毁，也正是因为他一直给王姬输入灵力，王姬才能留一线生机。可以说，其实是璟公子真正救了王姬。

当时，璟公子已经昏迷，我们带着王姬和璟公子回到紫金顶，医师说璟公子伤势并不算严重，是他自己不愿求生，所以不能醒来。”

    丰隆满脸茫然，喃喃道：“璟不是在青丘吗？怎么会出现在梅谷中？这倒不重要，反正幸亏他出现，才救了小夭，但他为什么不愿求生？究竟发生了什么事？”

Xiaoxiao explained to Fenglong in a straightforward manner: “We entered the formation to search and rescue the Princess. When we found her, we saw that Master Jing was protecting her. If it weren’t for Master Jing shielding the Princess with his spiritual energy, her body would have likely been burned to ashes long ago. It was because he continuously infused her with spiritual energy that she was able to cling to life. In truth, it was Master Jing who truly saved the Princess.

At that time, Master Jing had already lost consciousness. We brought both the Princess and Master Jing back to Zijin Peak. The healer said that Master’s Jing’s injuries weren’t severe; it was because he had lost the will to live that he couldn’t wake up.”

Fenglong, utterly confused, murmured, “Wasn’t Jing in Qingqiu? How did he end up in Mei Valley? But that’s not important. Fortunately, he showed up and saved Xiaoyao. But why doesn’t he want to live? What on earth happened?”

长相思第11章 生相依，死相随(3)

  颛顼的脸色好看了一些，却仍有些恨恨地说：“这个涂山璟真是无孔不入！他都已经订下了防风家的人，有什么资格和丰隆争？”

    小夭敛了笑意，走到颛顼面前坐下：“哥哥！”

颛顼看着她，小夭认真地说：“我说他有资格他就有资格，而且根本没有争，他也不用和丰隆争，我从没考虑过丰隆。”

    颛顼沉默着，面无表情，半晌后，才说道：“据我所知，涂山氏的太夫人很喜欢防风意映，这些年一直把她带在身边亲自教导，俨然已经把她当作未来的族长夫人。对涂山太夫人来说，璟喜欢不喜欢意映并不重要，重要的是意映符合不符合她的要求，她不会同意璟取消婚约，防风氏也不可能放弃和涂山氏的婚约。”

    “我知道。”小夭的眉眼中有难掩的惆怅。

Zhuanxu’s expression softened a bit, but he still spoke with some resentment: “This Tushan Jing is really everywhere! He’s already engaged to someone from the Fangfeng family, so what right does he have to compete with Fenglong?”

Xiaoyao withdrew her smile, walked over to Zhuanxu, and sat down in front of him, saying, “Brother!”

Zhuanxu looked at her, and Xiaoyao said seriously, “I say he’s qualified and so he is. And he doesn’t need to compete with Fenglong; I never considered Fenglong at all.”

Zhuanxu fell silent without any expression. After a long while, he said, “From what I know, the Grand Madam of the Tushan clan greatly favors Fangfeng Yiying. For years, she has kept Yiying by her side and personally trained her, clearly seeing her as the future wife of the clan leader. For the Grand Madam, whether Jing likes Yiying or not doesn’t matter; what’s important is whether Yiying meets her expectations. She won’t agree to Jing breaking off the engagement, and the Fangfeng clan won’t give up their alliance with the Tushan clan.”

“I understand,” Xiaoyao said, her eyes showing unmistakable sorrow.

长相思第9章 生相依，死相随(1)

涂山璟这个名字代表着什么，颛顼非常清楚，不仅仅是可敌国的财富，还是可以左右天下的权势。颛顼见过各种各样的男人，但他从没有见过愿意为一个女人舍弃一切的男人。颛顼不禁也有些动容，神色缓和起来：“其实，这事我没有办法替小夭做主，要看她怎么想。”

Zhuanxu knew very clearly what the name Tushan Jing represented. More than just wealth capable of rivaling a nation; it also symbolized power that could influence the world.

Zhuanxu had encountered all sorts of men, but he had never seen a man willing to give up everything for a woman. Even Zhuanxu was somewhat moved, his expression softening as he said, “Actually, I can’t make this decision for Xiao Yao; it depends on what she wants.”

长相思第16章 但感别时久(5)

颛顼说：“我看璟是不可能在太夫人还活着时，退掉和防风氏的婚约，只能等着太夫人死了。

说老实话，我一直看不透涂山璟这个人，丰隆看似精明厉害、飞扬狂妄，可我能掌控他，因为我知道他想要什么。

涂山璟看似温和，可他就像泉中水，握不住，抓不牢，根本无法驾驭掌控。他表现得很想和你在一起，却一直没有切实的行动，想要防风氏心甘情愿退婚是不容易，可逼得他们不得不退婚却不难！”


Zhuanxu said, “I don’t think Jing would cancel the engagement with the Fangfeng clan while the Grand Madam is still alive. He can only wait until she passes away.

To be honest, I’ve never been able to see through Tushan Jing. Fenglong seems sharp and arrogant, but I can control him because I know what he wants.

Tushan Jing appears gentle, but he’s like water from a spring—ungraspable and uncontrollable.
He acts like he wants to be with you, yet he has never taken any concrete action. It’s not easy to make the Fangfeng clan willingly annul the engagement, but it’s not difficult to force them to do so!”

长相思第22章 爱恨两依依(3)

颛顼对小夭说：“别伤心了，这世间有的是比璟更好的男人。”

Zhuanxu said to Xiaoyao, “Don’t be sad. There are plenty of men in this world better than Jing.”

长相思第24章 忽闻悲风调(2)

 小夭眉梢有哀伤：“他的后悔我要来何用？既然不能在一起，不如各自忘得一干二净，全当陌路吧！”

    “你到现在，还没忘记他？”

    小夭想嘴硬地说“忘记了”，可她欺骗不了自己。

    自从失去了璟，她再没有睡过整觉。

A trace of sadness appeared in Xiaoyao’s eyes. “What use do I have for his regrets? Since we can’t be together, it’s better for us to forget everything and treat each other as strangers!”

“You still haven’t forgotten him?”

Xiaoyao wanted to stubbornly say, “I’ve forgotten,” but she couldn’t lie to herself.

Since losing Jing, she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep.

长相思第28章 风回处，寄珍重(3)

 小夭犹豫了会儿，问道：“太夫人过世后，涂山族长可还好？”

    蛇莓儿道：“看上去不大好。以前，族长很和善风趣，这两三年，除了在太夫人面前强颜欢笑着尽孝，我从没见族长笑过。”

    小夭眉梢藏着一缕愁思，默不作声，蛇莓儿约略猜到她和璟之间有纠葛，怕她难过，不再谈璟

Xiaoyao hesitated for a moment and then asked, “How has the Tushan Clan Chief been since the Grand Madam passed away?”

Shemei’er replied, “He doesn’t seem to be doing well. The Clan Chief used to be kind and humorous, but in the past two or three years, aside from forcing a smile in front of the Grand Madam out of filial duty, I’ve never seen him smile.”

A trace of worry flickered in Xiaoyao’s eyes, and she remained silent. Shemei’er, guessing there might be some entanglement between her and Jing, feared she might feel upset and stopped talking about Jing.

长相思第28章 风回处，寄珍重(3)

  颛顼问：“你心里真和你表面一样，把一切都当作了过眼云烟？”

    小夭沉默了一会儿，轻声道：“不是。我看到他难受的样子，居然觉得有点开心。如果他今日和我一样，谈笑如常，云淡风轻，我只怕会很难过。”

小夭自嘲地吁了口气，“明知道一切都已过去，我想尽快忘记他，嘴里也说着大家只当陌路，可心底深处并不想他忘记我。我心口不一……我自己表现得什么都不在乎，却不允许他不在乎，如果他真敢这么快就不在乎了，我非恨死他不可……”小夭摇头苦笑，“我是不是很有病？”
 
颛顼怔怔地听着，一瞬后，才道：“这不是有病，只是你对他动了真情。”颛顼的表情很苦涩，“小夭，我现在很后悔，如果不是我当年太想借助涂山璟的力量，也许就不会有今日的一切。”

    小夭走到他身前：“你忘记了吗？在你出现之前，我就救了他。”

    “那时你可没对他动情，是我不但给了他机会，还为他创造机会，让他一步步接近你。”

Zhuanxu asked, “Do you really feel the same way inside as you appear on the surface, treating everything as if it’s just a fleeting cloud?”

Xiaoyao was silent for a moment, then softly replied, “No. I actually felt a bit of satisfaction seeing him in pain. If he were to act as if everything were normal today, with light-heartedness and ease, I’d be very upset.”

Xiaoyao sighed with self-deprecation, “Even though I know everything is in the past and I want to forget him quickly, and I tell myself that we’re just strangers now, deep down I don’t want him to forget me. I’m not being honest with myself… I act as if I don’t care about anything, but I can’t accept him not caring. If he really moved on so quickly, I’d hate him to the core…” Xiaoyao shook her head with a wry smile, “Am I really ill?”

Zhuanxu listened in a daze, and after a moment, said, “This isn’t illness; it’s just that you’ve developed true feelings for him.”
Zhuanxu’s expression was quite bitter. “Xiaoyao, I now regret that if I hadn’t been so eager to use Tushan Jing’s power back then, perhaps everything wouldn’t have turned out this way.”

Xiaoyao stepped in front of him, “Have you forgotten? Before you appeared, I had already saved him.”

“At that time, you hadn’t developed feelings for him. It was I who not only gave him the chance but also created opportunities for him to approach you step by step.”

长相思第31章 等闲平地起波澜(3)

  颛顼说：“我只希望，有一个人能抚平璟给你的痛苦，让你相信自己被重视、被珍惜、被宠爱，是他无论如何都不能舍弃的。”

    小夭的眼泪涌到了眼眶，喃喃说：“我一直都比较倒霉，这种好事，已经不敢奢望了。”

    颛顼低声说：“有的，小夭，有的。”

    颛顼陪着小夭，直到小夭沉睡过去，他起身帮小夭盖好被子。

    虽然小夭好强地没在他面前流泪，可此时，她眼角的泪在缓缓坠落。

    颛顼用手指轻轻印去，如果当年的他知道，有朝一日小夭会因为璟哭泣，不管他再想要涂山氏的帮助，也绝不会给璟机会接近小夭，现如今他憎恨涂山璟，可更憎恨自己。

Zhuanxu said, “I only hope that someone can soothe the pain Jing has caused you, and make you believe that you are valued, cherished, and loved—something he can never abandon.”

Tears welled up in Xiaoyao’s eyes as she murmured, “I’ve always been quite unlucky. I no longer dare to hope for such happiness.”

Zhuanxu said softly, “There is, Xiaoyao. There is.”

Zhuanxu stayed with Xiaoyao until she fell into a deep sleep, then he covered her with a blanket.

Although Xiaoyao had stubbornly held back her tears in front of him, tears were slowly falling from the corners of her eyes.

Zhuanxu gently wiped them away. If he had known back then that Xiaoyao would one day cry over Jing, no matter how much he wanted Tushan’s help, he would never have given Jing the chance to get close to Xiaoyao. Now, he not only hates Tushan Jing but also hates himself even more.

长相思第37章 烟水茫，意难忘(2)

“你的失眠比以前好了？”

    “自从开始专心学习医术，比以前好了很多。”虽然还是难以入睡，可从梦中惊醒的次数却少了很多。因为睡得好了，心痛的毛病也大大减轻。

    颛顼的眼神很是复杂，小夭这病是因璟而起，虽然她现在绝口不提璟，可显然，这么多年过去，她依旧没有忘记璟。

“Has your insomnia improved?”

“Ever since I started focusing on studying medicine, it’s gotten much better than before.” Although she still had trouble falling asleep, she woke up from nightmares far less frequently. Because she was sleeping better, the pain in her heart had also significantly lessened.

Zhuanxu’s expression was complex. Xiaoyao’s illness had started because of Jing.
Even though she never mentioned Jing anymore, it was clear that after all these years, she still hadn’t forgotten him.

长相思第41章 追往事，空惨愁颜(1)

小夭笑说：“我打算绣好后，送给璟。”

    颛顼愣住，半晌后问：“你……你和他又在一起了？”

    小夭摇摇头：“没有。”

    “那这……算什么？”颛顼指着小夭手里的香囊。

Xiaoyao smiled and said, “I plan to give this to Jing after I finish embroidering it.”

Zhuanxu was stunned. After a moment, he asked, “You… you’re back together with him?”

Xiaoyao shook her head, “No.”

“Then what… what does this mean?” Zhuanxu asked, pointing at the sachet in Xiaoyao’s hand.

长相思第1章 东风恶，欢情薄(1)

璟说不清原因，可他一直有种直觉，黄帝对小夭嫁给他乐见其成，黑帝却似乎并不高兴小夭嫁给他。

    按理说，不应该，因为当年璟和小夭不方便联系时，都是靠着黑帝帮忙，他才能给小夭写信，到了神农山后，也是靠着黑帝的帮忙，他才能和小夭频频在草凹岭见面，应该说，没有黑帝的支持，他和小夭根本不可能走到一起。

    璟也曾静下心分析此事，颛顼态度的变化好像是从那次意映怀孕，小夭伤心重病后，大概因为当年他伤小夭太重，而且在颛顼眼里，和身家清白、年少有为的丰隆相比，他根本配不上小夭。不过，颛顼依旧答应了他和小夭订婚，璟只能寄希望于日久见人心，让颛顼明白他会珍惜小夭，绝不会再犯错。

Jing couldn’t quite explain it, but he had always had a gut feeling: while the Yellow Emperor seemed pleased with Xiaoyao marrying him, the Black Emperor didn’t seem as happy about it.

Logically, it didn’t make sense. Back when Jing and Xiaoyao couldn’t easily communicate, it was the Black Emperor who helped him send letters to her. After arriving at Shennong Mountain, it was also with the Black Emperor’s help that he could frequently meet Xiaoyao in Cao’ao Ridge. Without the Black Emperor’s support, he and Xiaoyao probably wouldn’t have ended up together.

Jing had once calmly analyzed the situation. Zhuanxu’s change in attitude seemed to start after Yiying became pregnant and Xiaoyao fell into despair and illness. It was likely because he had hurt Xiaoyao too deeply back then, and in Zhuanxu’s eyes, compared to someone as promising and untainted as Fenglong, Jing was unworthy of Xiaoyao. However, Zhuanxu still agreed to his engagement with Xiaoyao, so Jing could only hope that, over time, Zhuanxu would come to understand that he would cherish Xiaoyao and never make the same mistake again.

长相思第25章 多情却似总无情(3)

小夭面色发青，嘴唇泛白，两夜间就好似整个人脱了形，颛顼觉得胸口发闷，涨得疼痛。他望向天际绚烂的朝霞，深吸了一口气，又缓缓吐出：“小夭，一切都会过去，迟早你会忘记他！”

Xiaoyao’s face was pale, her lips colorless, and in just two nights, it seemed as if she had become very thin. Zhuanxu felt a tightness in his chest, a swelling pain. He looked at the brilliant morning clouds on the horizon, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled, “Xiaoyao, everything will pass.
Sooner or later, you’ll forget him!”

长相思第28章 魂梦安能定(3)

颛顼蹲在小夭面前，双手扶在榻沿，仰头看着小夭：“你曾诚心诚意地祝福我寻到那个让我心甘情愿娶的女子，我已经寻到了。小夭，我知道你还没有忘记璟，但我能等，我愿意等到你心里的伤平复，等到你愿意嫁给我。我不求你忘记璟，我只是希望你能把你的心分一些给我，我只要一点点，让我和你一起度过我们余下的人生。”

Zhuan Xu squatted in front of Xiao Yao, his hands resting on the edge of the bed as he looked up at her. “You once sincerely wished that I would find the woman I’d willingly marry, and I’ve found her.

Xiao Yao, I know you haven’t forgotten Jing, but I can wait. I’m willing to wait until the wounds in your heart heal, until you’re ready to marry me. I don’t ask you to forget Jing; I only hope that you can share a part of your heart with me. I just need a little, so that we can spend the rest of our lives together.”

长相思第38章 错将生死作相思(2)

 “不要哪样呢？”颛顼的声音如同江南暮春时节的雨，柔软悲伤，“我不能阻止你去思念璟，只能尽力让你开心点。如果思念璟能让你开心，我也会帮你。”

    “这样做，你会开心吗？”

    “对我来说，开心或伤心都不重要，重要的是你依旧在我身边。”

    “我永远都不会忘记璟，你就永远这样吗？”

    颛顼沉默了一会儿，说道：“小夭，我从没有要你忘记璟！没有人能抹掉过去的记忆，我甚至知道，直到我白发苍苍时，璟仍活在你的记忆里，一如他离开时。我只是希望，在你的未来里，允许我和你相依为伴。”

“What is it that you don’t want?” Zhuan Xu’s voice was like the rain during a late spring in Jiangnan, soft and sorrowful. “I can’t stop you from missing Jing; all I can do is try to make you a bit happier. If thinking of Jing makes you happy, I’ll even help you with that.”

“Would doing that make you happy?”

“For me, whether I’m happy or sad doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re still by my side.”

“I will never forget Jing. Will you stay like this forever?”

Zhuan Xu was silent for a moment before he said, “Xiao Yao, I never asked you to forget Jing! No one can erase the memories of the past. I even know that when my hair turns gray, Jing will still live in your memories, just as he was when he left. I only hope that in your future, you’ll allow me to stay by your side.”

长相思第40章 往事未思心未痛(2)

 颛顼斟了两杯酒，小夭举起酒杯，一口饮尽，晃晃空酒杯，忽而一笑，神情十分温柔：“我知道，在你眼中，丰隆比璟好了太多，你一直瞧不上璟，觉得璟目光短浅，只想着为涂山氏赚钱，行事又优柔寡断，连篌和意映都摆不平。”

Zhuanxu poured two cups of wine. Xiaoyao lifted her cup and drank it all in one go. She shook the empty cup and suddenly smiled, her expression very gentle. “I know that in your eyes, Fenglong is far better than Jing. You’ve always looked down on Jing, thinking he was short-sighted, only concerned with making money for the Tushan clan, indecisive in his actions, and unable to handle even Chou and Yiying.”

颛顼想起了丰隆临死前在他耳畔的喃喃低语，只觉胸中憋闷难言，将酒狠狠地一口灌下，没有否认小夭的话：“我的确曾经这么想！”

    小夭说：“你们都只看到我救了璟，璟就赖上了我，可是实际上，是璟救了我。”

    颛顼愕然地看着小夭。

Zhuanxu remembered Fenglong’s murmured words before his death and felt a tightness in his chest. He drank the wine in one gulp, not denying Xiaoyao’s words. “I did indeed once thought that way!”

Xiaoyao said, “You all only see that I saved Jing, and Jing clung to me, but in reality, it was Jing who saved me.”

Zhuanxu looked at Xiaoyao in astonishment.

长相思第42章 道凄凉，与谁说(1)

颛顼沉默不语，如果是以前，他纵然嘴里不说，心里也不会认同，但现在他不确信了人。一个对天下大势分析得那么精准的人，一个懂得置之死地而后生的人，难道会不明白如何去复仇吗？

Zhuanxu remained silent. In the past, even if he didn’t say it, he wouldn’t have agreed in his heart. But now, he was unsure. A person who could analyze the world’s great trends so precisely, someone who understood how to survive desperate situations, couldn’t possibly not understand how to take revenge, could he?

长相思第43章 道凄凉，与谁说(2)

颛顼一直不敢去深思丰隆临死前说的话，可那些话一直萦绕在他心间，灼烧着他。此刻，压抑在心中的所有情绪突然失控了，他不耐烦地说：“就算璟千好万好，你对我说这些有什么意义？不管怎么样，璟已经死了！”

Zhuanxu had always been afraid to deeply contemplate what Fenglong had said before his death, but those words kept lingering in his mind, burning him. At this moment, all the emotions he had been suppressing suddenly spiraled out of control. He impatiently said, “No matter how amazing and wonderful Jing was, what’s the point of telling me this? No matter what, Jing is already dead!”

长相思第43章 道凄凉，与谁说(2)

他一直觉得璟配不上小夭，照顾不好小夭，只会带给小夭伤心，可是他呢？

He always thought that Jing was unworthy of Xiaoyao, unable to take care of her properly, and would only bring her sorrow. But what about him?

长相思第44章 道凄凉，与谁说(3)

  他杀了璟！

    在死前，他平生第一次忏悔道歉：“我错了！”不仅因为小夭，还因为他亏欠了璟。小夭亲口说：“我原谅你！”但是，她的原谅是建立在两人生死相隔之上，她无法为璟复仇，所以选择了死亡，以最决然的方式离开他。

    颛顼很清楚，就算小夭醒来了，她也绝不会再留在他身边。与其让小夭在痛苦中清醒，不如就让她安静地睡吧！

    漫长的时光，会将花般的少女变成枯槁的老妇，会将意气飞扬的少年变作枯骨，会将沧海变成桑田，会将平淡经历变作刻骨铭心，也会将刻骨铭心变作过往回忆。

    颛顼轻轻地吻了小夭一下，在心里默默说：希望你睡醒后，能将一切淡忘！不管你睡多久，我都会等，一直等到你愿意和我重新开始！一百年，一千年，我都会等着！

He killed Jing!

Before he died, for the first time in his life, he repented and apologized: “I was wrong!”

Not only because of Xiao Yao, but also because he had wronged Jing.

Xiao Yao had said with her own lips, “I forgive you!” But her forgiveness was built on the fact that they were separated by life and death. She couldn’t avenge Jing, so she chose death, leaving him in the most decisive way possible.

Zhuan Xu knew very well that even if Xiao Yao woke up, she would never stay by his side again. Rather than letting Xiao Yao wake up to pain, it was better to let her sleep peacefully.

The long passage of time turns a blossoming young girl into a withered old woman, a spirited young man into bones, seas into mulberry fields, ordinary experiences into unforgettable memories, and unforgettable memories into mere recollections.

Zhuan Xu gently kissed Xiao Yao and silently said in his heart: I hope that when you wake up, you can forget everything! No matter how long you sleep, I will wait, always wait until you’re ready to start over with me! A hundred years, a thousand years—I will wait!

长相思第45章 心有千千结(1)

小夭跪到墓前，颛顼也跪下，说道：“姑姑、姑父，今日小夭会嫁给涂山璟，你们放心，他还不错，会照顾好小夭。”

    小夭惊疑不定地看着颛顼

Xiaoyao knelt before the grave, and Zhuanxu also knelt down, saying, “Aunt, Uncle, today Xiaoyao will marry Tushan Jing. Please rest assured, he is a good person and will take good care of Xiaoyao.”

Xiaoyao looked at Zhuanxu uneasily.

长相思第50章 结发两不疑(2)

颛顼对他和小夭的亲人轻声说：“对不起，我没有办法遵守当年的誓言了！我必须让另一个男人来保护照顾我们的小夭了！他叫涂山璟，秉性善良，智计过人，对小夭一心一意，把小夭托付给他，一定不会让你们失望，你们都放心吧！”

Zhuanxu said softly to the family of him and Xiaoyao, “I’m sorry, I can no longer uphold the vow I made back then!
I must rely on another man to protect and care for our Xiaoyao.

His name is Tushan Jing. He is kind-hearted, exceptionally intelligent, and completely devoted to Xiaoyao. Entrusting Xiaoyao to him will definitely not disappoint you all. Please rest assured!”

长相思第51章 结发两不疑(3)

 “你太小看他了！一批药而已，于他而言，实在不算什么。涂山家什么生意都做，当年经他手卖给神农的东西比这危险的多了去了。”

“You underestimate him! It’s just a batch of medicine, nothing significant to him. The Tushan family deals in all kinds of trades; back in the day, the things he sold to Shennong were far more dangerous than this.”

长相思第11章 欲将此身寄山河(1)

  小夭瞪着防风邶，讥嘲道：“欺负老实人好玩吧？”

    涂山璟老实？防风邶挑挑眉头：“没有欺负你好玩。”

Xiaoyao glared at Fangfeng Bei and mocked, “Is it fun to bully an honest person?”

Tushan Jing, honest?
Fangfeng Bei raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s more fun to bully you.”

长相思第3章 青梅赋相思(3)

 防风邶戏谑地一笑：“刚才你眼睛里除了涂山璟还能看到谁？”

Fangfeng Bei chuckled mockingly,
“Just now, who else could you see in your eyes besides Tushan Jing?”

长相思第18章 相煎何太急(2)

    相柳冷笑道：“你以为我阻你成婚，只是为了让颛顼和四世家结怨吗？坦白和你说了吧！那不过只一半原因。”

    “另一半呢？”

    “涂山璟雇我去阻止你的婚事，他承诺，只要我能阻你成婚，给我三十七年的粮草钱。”

    “什么？”小夭不敢相信自己听到的，璟竟然雇相柳去阻婚？

    “不相信的话你可以自己去问问涂山璟。”

    小夭说：“你什么时候能放我走？”

Xiangliu sneered, “Do you think I stopped your wedding just to create enmity between Zhuanxu and the Four Great Clans? Let me be frank with you—that was only half the reason.”

“And the other half?”

“Tushan Jing hired me to stop your wedding. He promised me thirty-seven years’ worth of provisions if I succeeded.”

“What?” Xiaoyao couldn’t believe what she was hearing—Jing actually hired Xiangliu to stop the wedding?

“If you don’t believe me, you can go ask Tushan Jing yourself.”

Xiaoyao asked, “When will you let me go?”

长相思第45章 只影向谁去(2)

相柳望着海鸟，慢慢地说：“以前我认识的玟小六有很多缺点，唯独没有逆来顺受、愚蠢白痴的缺点，你是不是这些年被涂山璟照顾得太好了？他一死，你连如何生存都忘记了？”

    小夭现在最忌讳人家说璟死了，怒瞪着相柳。

Xiangliu looked at the seabirds and said slowly, “The Wen Xiaoliu I knew had many flaws, but the one thing he never was, was submissive and foolish. Have you been so well taken care of by Tushan Jing these years that you’ve forgotten how to survive once he’s gone?”

Xiaoyao, who considered it a taboo to say Jing is dead, glared angrily at Xiangliu.

长相思第31章 日日思君不见君(3)

他抬起头，几乎贴着她的面颊，笑吟吟地说：“璟已经去世六年了吧？直到今日，你依旧不肯去面对他的死亡，来了清水镇，都没去他死前最后待过的地方凭吊一下。”

小夭愤怒地瞪着相柳，相柳好像完全看不到小夭的愤怒，一边轻抚着她锁骨下的动脉，一边微笑着侃侃而谈：“在认识你之前，我已经和涂山璟做了几百年的生意，他不是个狠辣的人，却也绝不是个可欺的人，至少几百年来，我从没占到他的一点便宜。
他能一再容忍涂山篌，只是因为他把涂山篌当亲人，但当他把涂山篌驱逐到高辛，就应该很清楚，他和涂山篌之间的仇怨再难化解，以他的精明，绝不可能不提防涂山篌，一定会监视涂山篌在高辛的活动，禁止他发展自己的势力，这样不管涂山篌再恨他，都不可能报复他。”
皓月当空，清风徐徐，相柳的声音几如情人低语，“小夭，你同意我的分析吗？”

小夭的声音几乎是从齿缝里挤出：“你到底想说什么？”

    相柳笑了笑，温柔地说：“我只是想说，涂山璟行事不狠辣，但也绝不会任人欺负，你同意吗？”

    小夭硬邦邦地说：“是又怎么样？”

    相柳说：“在涂山璟的监控下，涂山篌是有可能摆脱他的监视，偷偷溜到清水镇，联络防风意映，一起设下陷阱。但是，当时在清水镇上有多少涂山璟的人？除了看守防风意映的一帮侍卫，还有一群保护涂山璟的暗卫。也许，你不太了解涂山氏的暗卫，涂山氏的族长向来只擅长做生意，不擅长杀戮，所以涂山氏一直非常注重暗卫的培养。几百年前，我做杀手生意时，曾见过一次涂山氏的暗卫出手，当时我做的决定是，除非义父有危险，否则我绝不会去刺杀涂山氏的族长。”

    
小夭似乎听出了什么，渐渐露出了专注聆听的样子，相柳的语速越来越慢：“涂山篌带去的人不但杀了所有看守防风意映的侍卫，还杀了涂山璟的三十多个暗卫，将剩下的几个绝顶高手围困住，让他们无法去救涂山璟。干净利落地屠杀那么多涂山氏的高手，要有多少高手才能做到？被涂山氏驱逐的涂山篌无钱无势，怎么可能在涂山璟的严密监控下发展出那么多的高手？如果涂山璟是这么无能的人，那我只能说，几百年来和我打交道的是另一个涂山璟。”

    
He lifted his head, almost touching her cheek, and said with a smile, “It’s been six years since Jing passed away, hasn’t it? To this day, you still refuse to face his death. Even though you came to Qing Shui Town, you haven’t visited the place where he spent his last moments.”

Xiao Yao glared at Xiangliu with anger. Xiangliu, seeming completely oblivious to her anger, continued to lightly caress the artery under her collarbone and spoke with a smile, “Before I knew you, I had done business with Tushan Jing for hundreds of years. He wasn’t a ruthless person, but he certainly wasn’t someone who could be easily deceived.

For hundreds of years, I never gained any advantage from him. He could repeatedly tolerate Tushan Hou because he considered him family, but once he drove Tushan Hou out to Gao Xin, he should have known that the grudge between them could never be resolved. With his shrewdness, he would certainly keep a close watch on Tushan Hou’s activities in Gao Xin and prevent him from building his own power. No matter how much Tushan Hou hated him, he couldn’t possibly retaliate against him.”

The full moon hung high, and a gentle breeze blew. Xiangliu’s voice was as soft as a lover’s whisper, “Xiao Yao, do you agree with my analysis?”

Xiao Yao’s voice came through gritted teeth: “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Xiangliu smiled and said gently, “I just want to say that Tushan Jing may not have been ruthless, but he would never let himself be bullied. Do you agree?”

Xiao Yao retorted stiffly, “And what about it?”

Xiangliu continued, “Under Tushan Jing’s surveillance, Tushan Hou might have managed to evade his watch and sneak into Qing Shui Town, to contact Fang Feng Yiying and set a trap together. But how many of Tushan Jing’s people were in Qing Shui Town at the time? Besides the guards watching Fangfeng Yiying, there were also a group of shadow guards protecting Tushan Jing.
Perhaps you don’t know much about Tushan’s shadow guards. The Tushan clan’s leader has always been skilled in business, not in killing, so they have always placed great importance on training their shadow guards.
Hundreds of years ago, when I was in the assassination business, I once saw Tushan’s shadow guards in action. My decision at that time was that unless my adoptive father was in danger, I would never attempt to assassinate the Tushan clan leader.”

Xiao Yao seemed to catch on to something, gradually showing a focused listening expression. Xiangliu’s pace slowed as he continued, “Tushan Hou’s people not only killed all the guards watching Fangfeng Yiying but also killed over thirty of Tushan Jing’s shadow guards, trapping the remaining top experts and preventing them from rescuing Tushan Jing. To cleanly and efficiently slaughter so many of Tushan’s top experts, how many top experts must one have? Tushan Hou, who was expelled by Tushan, was without money or influence—how could he possibly develop so many experts under Tushan Jing’s strict surveillance?

If Tushan Jing were truly so incapable, then I can only say that the Tushan Jing I have dealt with for hundreds of years is a different person.”

长相思第41章 往事未思心未痛(3)

“我不会饶过伤害璟的人，也不会让你称心如意。如你所说，涂山璟从没有让你占到便宜，他的妻子也不会！”小夭说完，就想离开。

“I won’t forgive anyone who harms Jing, nor will I let you have your way. As you said, Tushan Jing has never let you take advantage of him, and neither will his wife!” With that, Xiaoyao turned to leave.

长相思第41章 往事未思心未痛(3)

俊帝摇摇头，道：“他是涂山狐狸家的人，心眼比你多，就算刚开始没想到，后来也早猜到你的身份了。”

    小六苦笑，也是，俊帝和颛顼都不是好脾气的人，能让他们一再忍让，整个大荒也不过寥寥几个人。

The Emperor Jun shook his head and said, “He is from the Tushan fox family and is much more cunning than you. Even if he didn’t realize it at first, he would have figured out your identity later.”

Xiao Liu gave a bitter smile. Indeed, both Emperor Jun and Zhuanxu were not known for their patience. There were only a few people in the entire DaHuang who could make them repeatedly tolerate someone.

长相思第23章 眉间心上，无计相回避(2)

 俊帝笑道：“我以为你这个时候会惦记涂山家的那只小狐狸。”

The Jun Emperor smiled and said, “I thought you would be thinking about that little fox from the Tushan family at this time.”

长相思第34章 桃之夭夭，灼灼其华(1)

 俊帝说：“小夭，我从不干涉你的自由，但作为父亲，我请求你，不要和他来往。他和颛顼立场不同，你的血脉已经替你做了选择。”俊帝已经看过一次悲剧，不想再看到小夭的悲剧了。

    小夭取回镜子，对俊帝露出一个明媚的笑：“父王，你想到哪里去了？我和他之间只是交易，他救我，是对颛顼有所求。”

    俊帝长吁了口气，说道：“反正你记住，我宁愿冒天下之大不韪出兵灭了防风一族，帮你把涂山家的那只小狐狸抢过来，也不愿你和相柳有瓜葛。”

The Jun Emperor said, “Xiaoyao, I don’t interfere with your freedom, but as your father, I ask you not to associate with him. He stands on a different side from Zhuanxu, and your bloodline has already made a choice for you.”

The Jun Emperor had witnessed one tragedy and didn’t want to see another one involving Xiaoyao.

Xiaoyao retrieved the mirror and gave the Jun Emperor a bright smile. “Father, what are you thinking? Between him and me, it’s just a transaction. He saved me because he sought something from Zhuanxu.”

The Jun Emperor sighed and said, “Just remember, I would rather defy the entire world and send troops to destroy the Fangfeng clan, snatching that little fox from the Tushan family for you, than have you involved with Xiangliu.”

长相思第21章 爱恨两依依(2)

  有一次，俊帝走进漪清园，天色已黑透，小夭依旧呆坐在水边，以她的灵力修为，只怕不可能视黑夜如白昼。

    俊帝问：“你每日在水边冥思，已经思了几个月，都想出了些什么？”

    小夭说：“我想起了很多小时候的事，娘很疼爱我。可是那么疼爱，她依旧为了什么家国天下的大义舍弃了我。她舍不得别的孩子没有爹娘，可她舍得让我没了娘。我最近会忍不住想，如果她没有舍弃我，好好地看着我长大，我会是什么样子？我的性格是不是不会这么别扭，我是不是会比现在快乐一点？”

    俊帝说：“小夭，你魔障了，你得走出来，别被自己的心魔吞噬了。如果是为了涂山家的那只小狐狸，我去帮你把他抢来。”

    小夭笑道：“父王，你忘记了吗？我已经有未婚夫了。”

Once, the Emperor Jun walked into Yiqing Garden. The sky was already dark, but Xiaoyao was still sitting by the water in a daze. With her spiritual power, it was unlikely that she couldn’t see in the dark.

The Emperor Jun asked, “You’ve been meditating by the water every day for months. What have you come up with?”

Xiaoyao said, “I’ve remembered many things from my childhood. Mother loved me very much. But despite loving me so much, she still abandoned me for the greater good of the nation. She couldn’t bear for other children to be without their parents, but she could bear to let me be without a mother. Recently, I can’t help but think, if she hadn’t abandoned me and had watched me grow up, what kind of person would I be? Would my personality be less awkward? Would I be a bit happier than I am now?”

The Emperor Jun said, “Xiaoyao, you are trapped in a mental bind. You need to break free and not let your inner demons consume you.
If it’s because of that little fox from the Tushan family, I will help you snatch him back.”

Xiaoyao smiled and said, “Father, have you forgotten? I already have a fiancé.”

长相思第39章 欲归道无因(2)

 白帝瞅了璟一眼，笑道：“我已是糟老头子，又没有姑娘看我，走得难看一些有什么关系？倒是璟的腿，如果能治还是治了。”

    璟淡淡一笑，什么都没说，白帝也就没再提起。

The White Emperor glanced at Jing and laughed, “I’m just an old man now, and there’s no young lady looking at me, so it doesn’t matter if I walk awkwardly. But as for Jing’s leg, if it can be treated, it should be.”

Jing smiled faintly, saying nothing, and the White Emperor didn’t bring it up again.

长相思第24章 多情却似总无情(2)

黄帝笑笑，对小夭说：“你去送送涂山族长。” 
璟眼中闪过惊喜，这表示黄帝认可他了吗？

小夭带着一抹羞色，对璟道：“走吧！”

The Yellow Emperor smiled and said to Xiaoyao,
“Go see off the chief of the Tushan clan.”

Joy flashed in Jing’s eyes.
Does this mean the Yellow Emperor acknowledges him?

With a hint of shyness, Xiaoyao said to Jing, “Let’s go!”

长相思第5章 东风恶，欢情薄(5)

 有黄帝的允许，璟出入神农山很方便。他每日都来小月顶，却不是陪小夭，而是在黄帝的要求下，陪黄帝下棋。用神族特制的棋盘，方寸棋盘就是一个世界，天地山川都在其中，可四野征战、逐鹿天下，下完一局棋常常要几个月。

一日傍晚，一局棋终于结束。

    黄帝凝视着棋局叹道：“可惜，你志不在此；可庆，你志不在此！”

With the Yellow Emperor’s permission, Jing could come and go from Shennong Mountain freely.
He visited Xiaoyao at Xiaoyue Peak every day, but not to accompany her. Instead, at the Yellow Emperor’s request, he played chess with him. Using a specially crafted divine chessboard, where the board itself represented a world—its lands, mountains, and rivers—all within. Battles raged across its expanse, and a single game often took months to complete.

One evening, a game finally ended.

The Yellow Emperor gazed at the board and sighed, “It’s a pity that your heart is not in this; but it’s fortunate that your heart is not in this!”

长相思第9章 花开花谢故人别(1)

  小夭磕了个头，起身要走，黄帝又说道：“我很喜欢璟那孩子，但不管怎么样，你和他没有缘分，他已经死了，你忘记他吧！从今往后，你安心留在神农山，颛顼会给你一世安稳。”

Xiaoyao bowed her head, stood up, and was about to leave when the Yellow Emperor spoke again, “I liked Jing very much, but no matter what, you and he were not destined to be together. He is gone now; you should forget him! From now on, stay at Mount Shennong peacefully—Zhuanxu will ensure you a lifetime of stability.”

长相思第32章 日日思君不见君(4)

黄帝无奈，知道现在说什么都没有用，他起身离去，走到门口时，突然回身，说道：“你可以不考虑他们，但你至少该考虑一下璟。璟的性子如何你最清楚，他可愿意让你这么做？”

    小夭的脸挨在枕上，冷冷地说：“这话你应该去对颛顼说，璟究竟做错了什么，他要杀璟？”

The Yellow Emperor, feeling helpless, knew that saying anything now would be useless. He stood up to leave, but suddenly turned back at the door and said, “You may not consider them, but you should at least think about Jing. You know Jing’s temperament better than anyone. Does he really want you to do this?”

Xiaoyao, her face pressed against the pillow, coldly replied, “You should direct that question to Zhuanxu. What exactly did Jing do wrong that he deserves to be killed?”

长相思第43章 道凄凉，与谁说(2)

意映满心怨恨，她哪里都不比馨悦差，可因为馨悦是神农氏，她就要处处让着馨悦，丰隆的道歉也不是真在意她的反应，完全是为了涂山璟。

涂山璟又哪里好了？一个软弱的废物，只因为他是涂山氏未来的族长，人人都得让着他！一切都是因为身份！

Yi Ying was filled with resentment. She wasn’t any worse than Xin Yue in any way, but because Xin Yue was a descendant of the Shennong clan, Yi Ying had to yield to her in everything. Feng Long’s apology wasn’t out of genuine concern for her feelings; it was entirely for Tushan Jing’s sake.

And what was so great about Tushan Jing? A weak and useless person, yet everyone had to defer to him just because he was the future leader of the Tushan clan! It was all because of his status!

长相思第3章 青梅赋相思(3)

明明他风姿卓然、高高在上，她满身污秽、萎靡在地，可他的目光一如往日，没有丝毫鄙夷。意映说：“以前，我不明白篌的感觉，现在终于明白了，我对你做了那么多事，你才是最有资格惩罚我的人，可我在你的眼里看不到一丝恨意，为什么你不同意用酷刑折磨我？”

Despite his noble and elegant appearance, while she was filthy and lying despondent on the ground, his gaze remained unchanged, without a hint of disdain. Yiying said, “In the past, I didn’t understand Hou’s feelings, but now I finally do. I did so many things to you; you are the one most qualified to punish me. Yet, I don’t see any hatred in your eyes. Why don’t you agree to torture me?”

意映仰头看着璟，夏日的阳光从他头顶照下，映得他的眉目分外清晰，和篌相似的五官，却没有篌的诡秘飞扬，而是若清水皓月般坦荡磊落、平静温和，第一次，意映真正看清楚了璟长什么模样。意映微笑着说：“以前认定了你懦弱无能，今日才明白，仇恨并不需要智慧，那只是受到伤害后的本能反应，宽恕才需要智慧和坚强，可惜我做不到。原来是我配不上你！我还是喜欢以眼还眼、以牙还牙，和篌倒真的很相配！”

Yiying looked up at Jing. The summer sunlight shone down from above his head, making his features exceptionally clear. His facial features resembled Hou’s but lacked Hou’s mysterious and flamboyant nature; instead, they were as clear and serene as water and bright as the moon, open and honest, calm and gentle.

For the first time, Yiying truly saw what Jing looked like. She smiled and said, “I used to think you were weak and incompetent. Today I understand that hatred requires no wisdom; it is just an instinctive reaction to being hurt.
Forgiveness requires wisdom and strength, which I unfortunately lack. It turns out I am unworthy of you! I still prefer an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, which makes me a perfect match for Hou!”

长相思第5章 东风恶，欢情薄(5)

意映往前爬了几步，颤颤巍巍地站起，她回头对璟说：“我答应篌设置这个陷阱，不是为了诱杀你，而是为了诱杀篌。我以前就和你说过，我和你不一样，辜负了我的人，我必要他偿还！瑱儿的毒已经解了，我留了一封信给他，让他知道他的父母做错了事，希望他长大后，能帮我偿还欠你的。

璟，对不起！不是你不好，而是你太好！老天知道我配不上你，所以，让我先遇见了他！”

Yiying crawled forward a few steps and shakily stood up. She turned back to Jing and said, “I agreed to Hou’s plan to set this trap, not to lure and kill you, but to lure and kill him. I told you before, I’m different from you. Anyone who wrongs me, I will make sure they pay! Tian’er’s poison has already been cured. I left him a letter so he knows his parents did wrong, and I hope that when he grows up, he can help repay what we owe you.

Jing, I’m sorry! It’s not that you’re not good enough—you’re too good! Heaven knew I wasn’t worthy of you, so I met him first!”

长相思第26章 魂梦安能定(1)

馨悦压着声音说：“其实，璟哥哥很可怜，意映并不喜欢璟哥哥。”

    小夭愣住：“你怎么知道？意映告诉你的？”

    “意映怎么可能和我说这种话？璟哥哥的娘是曋氏，我外祖母也是曋氏，我外祖母是他娘的亲姑姑，璟哥哥的外祖母是赤水氏，是我外祖父的大堂姐，我们和璟哥哥可是正儿八经的亲戚。意映算什么？”馨悦眼含不屑，“如果意映不是璟哥哥的未婚妻，我怎么可能和她走得那么近？”

Xinyue lowered her voice and said, “Actually, Brother Jing is quite pitiful. Yiying doesn’t like him.”

Xiaoyao was stunned. “How do you know? Did Yiying tell you that?”

“How could Yiying ever say something like that to me? Brother Jing’s mother was from the Shen clan, and my maternal grandmother was also from the Shen clan. My grandmother was his mother’s aunt, and Brother Jing’s maternal grandmother was from the Chishui clan, who is my grandfather’s first cousin. We are genuinely related to Brother Jing by blood. What does Yiying count for?” Xinyue’s eyes showed disdain. “If Yiying weren’t Brother Jing’s fiancée, do you think I would ever get so close to her?”

长相思第6章 岁月静好与君同(1)

馨悦突然说：“我真的非常开心你能嫁给璟。”

    小夭仰着头，笑得很灿烂，毫不扭捏地说：“我也非常开心。”

    馨悦看到她的笑容，不禁笑起来，这一次，小夭真的要嫁给一个男人，真的要彻底离开神农山，离开——颛顼了！

    站在山顶，能远远地看见隐在云霄中的紫金顶，馨悦望着紫金宫，大声说：“我祝福你和璟恩恩爱爱、美美满满。”

Xinyue suddenly said, “I’m really very happy that you’re marrying Jing.”

Xiaoyao tilted her head back and smiled brightly, without any reservation. “I’m very happy too.”

Seeing her smile, Xinyue couldn’t help but laugh. This time, Xiaoyao was truly going to marry a man and leave Shennong Mountain completely—leave Zhuanxu behind!

Standing at the mountaintop, they could see the Purple Gold Summit hidden among the clouds in the distance. Xinyue gazed at the Purple Gold Palace and loudly said, “I wish you and Jing a lifetime of love and happiness!”

长相思第25章 多情却似总无情(3)

阿念皱皱鼻子，得意地哼了一声，对颛顼说：“那位青丘公子璟看着有点冷淡，对哥哥却真不错。昨天晚上曋家和姜家的那三个臭小子对哥哥出言不逊，还故意刁难哥哥，想让哥哥出丑，幸亏丰隆和璟帮哥哥。”

阿念很清楚，那种场合如果第一面表现得不好，将来即使能成功融入，也要多花费几倍的努力。

Ah Nian wrinkled her nose, giving a smug hmph, and said to Zhuanxu, “The Young Master Jing from Qingqiu seems a bit aloof, but he’s really nice to my brother.
Last night, those three nasty boys from the Shen and Jiang families were rude to my brother and deliberately made things difficult for him, trying to embarrass him.
Fortunately, Fenglong and Jing helped my brother.”

Ah Nian understood well that if someone doesn’t make a good impression in such situations, even if they eventually succeed in blending in, it will require many times more effort in the future.

长相思第31章 所谓伊人，在水一方(1)

 小夭很是意外，璟这么问，显然表明，他知道只有桑甜儿还活着，小夭说：“见到了。”

    璟说：“不要难过，老木他们都是善终。”

    “你……一直在关注他们？”

    璟颔首：“老木临终前，我去见过他一面，告诉他小六过得很好，让他安心。”

Xiaoyao was quite surprised. Jing’s question clearly indicated that he knew only Sang Tian’er was still alive. Xiaoyao replied, “I saw her.”

Jing said, “Don’t be sad. Lao Mu and the others passed away peacefully.”

“You… have been keeping an eye on them all this time?”

Jing nodded. “I visited Lao Mu before he passed, and I told him that Xiaoliu was doing well, so he could rest in peace.”

长相思第46章 风不定，人初静(1)

   獙君沉默地盯了一瞬相柳，问道：“小夭和你之间……只是普通朋友？”

    相柳唇角一挑，扬眉笑起来，看着桃花舟上的小夭，说道：“小夭心心念念的人是涂山璟。”

    獙君松了口气：“那就好。”

    相柳自嘲地说：“没想到我的名声，连蚩尤收养的妖怪都会嫌弃。”

    獙君摇摇头：“不，我没有嫌弃你，相反，我很敬重你！你心如琉璃剔透，连我的歌声都不能迷惑你，名利权势更不可能迷惑你。”

獙君凝视着相柳，眼神十分复杂，看的好像是相柳，又好像不是相柳，“不是你不好，只是……”獙君长叹一声，“即使涂山璟已经死了，我依旧庆幸小夭选择的是他。”

Bi Jun stared at Xiangliu for a moment and asked, “Between Xiaoyao and you… is it just a normal friendship?”

Xiangliu raised an eyebrow with a smirk and looked at Xiaoyao on the peach blossom boat, saying, “Xiaoyao’s heart is set on Tushan Jing.”

The Bi jun sighed in relief, “That’s good.”

Xiangliu self-deprecatingly said, “I didn’t expect my reputation would be dismissed even by the demons adopted by Chi You.”

Bijun shook his head, “No, I don’t despise you. On the contrary, I respect you greatly! Your heart is as clear as crystal, even my songs cannot enchant you, and fame, wealth, and power cannot sway you.”

Bijun gazed at Xiangliu with a complex expression, as if looking at Xiangliu but not quite. “It’s not that you are at fault, it’s just…”

Bijun sighed deeply, “Even if Tushan Jing is already dead, I am still relieved that Xiaoyao chose him.“

长相思第46章 心有千千结(2)