Xiaoyao is really a liar.
She claims to be a hard-hearted person, but she is just a huge softie, with a big heart to embrace so many people who hurt her in her life, but she still has so much love to give.
After 28 episodes, and seeing how Xiaoyao is slowly but surely, opening her heart to her love, I have a better understanding of this song.
“你到现在，还没忘记他？”
小夭想嘴硬地说“忘记了”，可她欺骗不了自己。
自从失去了璟，她再没有睡过整觉。
她想他！她对璟的思念，超过了任何人以为的程度，甚至吓住了她自己。她一直以为自己把一切控制得很好，即使璟离开，她也能坦然接受。可是，当一切发生时，她才发现高估了自己。她能凭借强大的意志，理智地处理整件事情，控制自己的行为，不生气、不迁怒、不失态、不去见他，依旧若无其事地过日子，可是每个夜晚，她控制不了自己的思念。
有一次，她梦到了璟在吻她，梦里甘甜如蜜，惊醒时，却满嘴苦涩，连喝下的蜜水都发苦。
小夭不想回忆，可不管睁开眼睛、闭上眼睛，心里的一幕幕全是两人耳鬓厮磨时。记忆是那么清晰，温存似乎还留在唇畔，却一切不可再得。
每次想到，以后再看不到他，听不到他说话，他的一切与自己无关，她的生命里也不会再有他的身影，那种痛苦，让小夭觉得，宁愿永坠梦里，再不醒来。
小夭低声说：“我以为一切都在我的掌控中，可原来，感情是不由人控制的。”
“You still haven’t forgotten him?”Xiaoyao wanted to stubbornly say, “I’ve forgotten,” but she couldn’t lie to herself.
Since losing Jing, she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep.
She missed him! Her longing for Jing far exceeded what anyone could have imagined, even to the point of frightening herself.She had always thought she had everything under control, that even if Jing left, she could accept it calmly. But when it all happened, she realized she had overestimated herself. She could, through sheer willpower, rationally handle the entire situation—controlling her actions, not getting angry, not taking it out on others, not losing her composure, and not going to see him. She continued living as if nothing had happened, but each night, she couldn’t control her longing for him.
Once, she dreamed of Jing kissing her. In the dream, it was as sweet as honey, but when she woke, her mouth was filled with bitterness, even the honey water she drank tasted bitter.
Xiaoyao didn’t want to dwell on the memories, but whether her eyes were open or closed, all she could see were the moments they spent together in intimate closeness. The memories were so vivid, the tenderness seemed to still linger on her lips, yet none of it could be regained.
Every time she thought about never seeing him again, never hearing his voice, that he would no longer be part of her life, and that his presence would be absent from her world, the pain was so intense that Xiaoyao felt she would rather stay trapped in her dreams forever, never waking.
In a low voice, Xiaoyao said, “I thought I had everything under control, but it turns out emotions are beyond anyone’s control.”
长相思第28章 风回处，寄珍重(3)
From the Novel 长相思第1章 东风恶，欢情薄(1) :
Xiao yao told Jing
“相信我！不管发生什么，都无条件地相信我！”
“我答应。”
小夭似乎仍有些不放心，叮咛道：“不管看到什么、听到什么，都闭起眼睛，先问问自己的心。”
“Trust me! No matter what happens, you have to trust me unreservedly!”
“I promise”
Xiaoyao seemed worried and added : ” No matter what you see, what you hear, close your eyes, and ask your heart..”
小夭的泪如断了线的珍珠簌簌而落：“还有二十二天，才是我们的大婚日，他抓紧点时间，依旧赶得回来。”
Xiaoyao’s tears fell like broken strings of pearls, streaming down: “There are still twenty-two days until our wedding day. If he hurries, he can still make it back in time.”
长相思第27章 魂梦安能定(2)
小夭说：“这段日子，外爷给我讲了一堆大道理，什么家国天下的。可是我不是我娘，我的心很小，只装得下我在乎的人，装不下天下万民。我以前装模作样地关心什么家国天下、万民苍生，只是因为你在乎，但我现在恨你！那些和我没有关系！”
颛顼笑了笑说：“那些的确和你没关系！”
小夭说：“所以，不管外爷说什么，我还是要杀了你。你杀了璟，我一定要杀了你，你明白吗？”
Xiaoyao said, “During this time, my grandfather has been lecturing me about grand principles, about family and country, and the world. But I’m not my mother.
My heart is small; it can only hold the people I care about, not the entire world.
I used to pretend to care about family and country, the well-being of the people, only because you cared. But now I hate you! Those things have nothing to do with me!”Zhuanxu smiled and said, “Indeed, those things have nothing to do with you!”
Xiaoyao replied, “So, no matter what my grandfather says, I still want to kill you. You killed Jing, so I must kill you. Do you understand?”
长相思第44章 道凄凉，与谁说(3)
破命运的谜语
看世间的流离
爱的宿命 亦步亦趋
难逃避
我置身于世外
垂下眉眼只观心
不听不看 守着爱
心系你
每一晚孤零零的月光里
前尘如烽烟起 回忆里满是你
集齐天地间的桀骜和不羁
每一刻孤单单的时光里
思念它弥漫起 天地间只有你
兑换骄傲 执手一生去
破命运的谜语
看世间的流离
爱的宿命 亦步亦趋
难逃避
我置身于世外
垂下眉眼只观心
不听不看 守着爱
心系你
每一晚孤零零的月光里
前尘如烽烟起 回忆里满是你
集齐天地间的桀骜和不羁
每一刻孤单单的时光里
思念它弥漫起 天地间只有你
兑换骄傲 执手一生去
送一颗心别离 要一个归期
那些绵绵无绝期 丢给时间去
送一个人游历 要一个相遇
那些相思无尽处 等一场落雨
每一晚孤零零的月光里
前尘如烽烟起 回忆里满是你
集齐天地间的桀骜和不羁
每一刻孤单单的时光里
思念它弥漫起 天地间只有你
兑换骄傲 执手一生去
执手一生去
To solve the riddle of Fate
To look at the flow of the world
The destiny of love follows closely
Can’t escape
I stay out of worldly affairs
Only observe the heart with lowered eyes
Don’t listen, don’t look, protecting my love
Caring about you
Every night in the lonely moonlight
The past flares like beacons and my memories are full of you
Gathering all the unbridled defiance in the heaven and earth
Every moment in the desolate hours
Yearning fills up, there is only you in the world
Exchange my pride to hold your hand for a lifetime
To solve the riddle of Fate
To look at the flow of the world
The destiny of love follows closely
Can’t escape
I stay out of worldly affairs
Only observe the heart with lowered eyes
Don’t listen, don’t look, protecting my love
Caring about you
Every night in the lonely moonlight
The past flares like beacons and my memories are full of you
Gathering all the unbridled defiance in the heaven and earth
Every moment in the desolate hours
Yearning fills up, there is only you in the world
Exchange my pride to hold your hand for a lifetime
Upon separation, I gift my heart to want a date of return
Time can have all the unending wait
( I want a definite date )
Send on a trip, I want to meet again
In boundless lovesickness, I await for the rain
( to cut the trip short so the loved one will return sooner? )
Every night in the lonely moonlight
The past flares like beacons and my memories are full of you
Gathering all the unbridled defiance in the heaven and earth
Every moment in the desolate hours
Yearning fills up, there is only you in the world
Exchange my pride to hold your hand for a lifetime
Hold your hand for a lifetime
Parts of the lyrics seem to be inspired from classical poems
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期
(There can be an end to the world, but this hate has) no end
Hate is not a part of the lyrics for this song, only the phrase mianmian wu jueqi is used
天涯地角有穷时，只有相思无尽处
There is a place where the world ends, but lovesickness has no bounds
whysoDrama 
Admin, Love your commentary. In the drama they only played Xiao Yao’s theme in a couple of scenes with Cang Xuan and Xiang Liu
though, never with Jing. I was wondering about that.
LikeLike
We might see it for S2? In any case Xiaoyao and Jing’s ‘theme’ is the song she sang to him 《相见相思》
LikeLike
Makes me think that XL is the one she’s constantly thinking about and with whom she’s wanting to spend the rest of her life.
LikeLike
I am recapping the drama and adding in parts of the novel that is relevant. Can’t help what you think you are seeing.
LikeLike
In the novel there is one part, where the author writes about what Xiaoyao thinks about her time with XL.
They are similar, they enjoy each other’s company. But there is no romantic aspect in it. As Xiaoyao mentioned, she is seeking companionship, not necessarily marriage. So if she spent her life with Xiangliu, it might be platonic. Only with Jing, she considered romance.
“两年间，两人结伴玩遍了轩辕城的每个角落，他有时候失踪，有时候出现，随意随性，小夭都觉得他们能这么天长地久地玩下去，因为两人的态度太像了，什么都不在乎，什么都不介意尝试，什么都感兴趣，什么都能令他们微笑。他们欣赏一切美丽美好，却什么都不想要，他们的生命就好似踩在明与暗的交界处，如果选择面朝光明，则背后是千里荒凉，如果选择了面朝黑暗，则红尘繁华只在他们身后绚烂。但即使面朝光明，他们依旧踩着黑暗，不是不明白纯粹的光明，但曾经历的一切永不会遗忘，如影随形地跟随着。他们坚强、独立、冷漠，不管遇见什么，都可以好好地活着。”
长相思第49章 溯洄从之，道阻且长(2)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just like Jing, it seems that I’ve been misunderstanding a lot of
WSL/XY’s motivations behind her actions, especially towards Jing. And I’ve watched the drama several times. But your commentary has made me see them from a different perspective and I’m beginning to understand a little better now. Thank you.
LikeLike
I’m so happy you are enjoying this story too!
Xiaoyao really tends to sabotage her own relationships and hides her true feelings too well…
It also helps that the novel adds more backstory and provides insights from the author narration that is not as clear in the drama – but if the drama has too much inner OS it will feel boring as well…
LikeLike
To create an OST with lyrics related to the story just goes to show how much this novel is loved. The show’s OST definitely goes to my playlist. Relieving all the feelings I experienced after reading the novel and watching the drama is really fun way of spending my time.
LikeLiked by 1 person