Lost You Forever S1 E01

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No xianxia epic drama can open without some grand establishing shot, and so we sweep through the clouds into a cosy courtyard Zhaoyun Hall on Xiyan Mountain where a pair of young children and an old granny are spending what appeared to be a restful time.

A pretty and carefree young girl on a swing is showing off how high she can go, but the young boy she is with is not paying her any attention. Their granny is introduced as Xiling Xie and “Your Majesty” by a maid who brought medicine, but the little girl and little boy has no introduction.

The girl has a little flower mark on her forehead and appears to be bright, confident and cheeky. She called the boy Cang Xuan, and after some playful bickering and dialogue, we learn that young Cang Xuan’s parents are away fighting a war.

Five minutes into the drama, we already have a death heralded by sudden ominous clouds that distressed their old granny and caused her to collapse. She was obviously not well enough to attend her own son’s funeral, we see the King of Xiyan introduced along with the little girl’s mother Xiling Heng at what looks like a rather small scale funeral for a prince.

The children tried to delay the sealing of the tomb as Cang Xuan’s mother has yet to arrive. They argue with their instantly unlikable Royal 9th Uncle, Xiyan Yi Peng, as Cang Xuan’s mother, Chang Pu arrived at last.

In the white snowy landscape with everyone in mourning clothes, she showed up calm and collected, in a blood red gown, which looked like a wedding dress.

This is very odd since as the wife of the deceased prince, she should not have been late to her husband’s funeral and also be in mourning clothes. Did they rush the funeral and not given her enough time to get back from wherever she was? Does she hate him and not want to give him the respect at his funeral?

After Chang Pu tenderly greeted her son, she turned her steely gaze on the 9th Prince and informed everyone present of his crime of intercepting military letters and withholding reinforcements, which led to the deaths of her husband and 6000 of her Ruoshui clansmen.

I wonder why as the wife of the 4th Prince, she is not referred to with a Royal title but just with her name?
She is also the leader of the Ruoshui clan who have supplied soldiers for the war.

As the Prince scoffed at her accusations, she stabbed him then and there to the shock and disbelief of everyone present.

Cang Xuan’s mother is certainly not the type to cower before power, or wait indefinitely for the ‘right opportunity’. She became the judge, jury and executioner to avenge her husband at his funeral. One wonders how she learnt of the truth and if the King of Xiyan was aware of it as well. Did he know the truth but tried to cover up for his other son?

As the soldiers seem to half-heartedly attempt to arrest Chang Pu, being easily kept at bay by an unarmed woman and a little girl, she has time to bid Cang Xuan a tearful farewell. She just loved her husband too much to stay behind, and entrusted her son to Xiling Heng as she stabbed herself and falls into the tomb as it sealed itself. Beautiful red flowers magically covered the tomb as poor Cang xuan cried for his mother.

The little girl tries to cheer Cang Xuan up and get him to eat some nectar from the flowers she plucked. He is still very upset and can’t taste the sweetness of the nectar or the honey she brought. He could not understand why his mother chose to abandon him and leave him alone.

The little girl comforted him the best she could, and told him that her mother, granny and her will be keeping him company always. Little did she know……

The old granny lamented that she was useless and could not protect her son and her daughter-in-law.
We finally know the little girl’s name is Xiao Yao, as her mother assures the ailing granny, whom she addresses as Shifu/Master..that she will treat Cang Xuan like her own. We also find out that she is actually the Queen of Haoling, and she has decided to divorce the King, which means Xiao Yao is actually a princess.

On her deathbed, the granny asked the children to make to vow to cherish and support, to be there for each other always. What a strange kind of request to insist the children swear, but I guess she was very worried for Cang Xuan who will no longer have anyone on his side after she is gone.

And so, the old granny also passed away with only the three of them present.
Strange to think that the King of Xiyan was not around, does he have more than one wife? Does he not care? One would think she would have wanted her spouse with her on her deathbed, but it would seem that these royals are not happily married.

Young Cang Xuan sat by himself, lost in his own thoughts, thoughts that are far too serious for a young child. He berated himself for not protecting his mother or look after his grandmother, and was feeling overwhelmed by helplessness.

To make his day worse, a gang of royal children arrived to taunt him for being unwanted and they beat him up.


Without his parents around and with an indifferent grandfather, Cang Xuan had become their easy target. It would appear the adults on Xiyan do not think children is to be coddled since not even a maid is assigned to watch over them. Perhaps it is because Xiyan is still at war, and cut-backs was necessary? Only one maid had been seen taking care of the old granny.

Only armed with his teeth, Cang Xuan could not defend himself from the group of six boys and was getting the worst of it.

Xiao yao to the rescue! She told the leader of the pack Yue Liang to stop, but he mocked her for no longer having a father. Looks like Xiao yao’s mother has yet to tell her something as important as divorcing her father, and even though the news had spread far and wide, she only heard about it from this royal gang of little ruffians.

Instead of being upset, Xiao yao seemed unfazed by this news and proceeded to give all the bad children a beat-down. Possessing an impressive though clumsy spiritual fighting power, Xiao yao sent them sprawling with ease. She humiliated the boy who bullied Cang Xuan, as he watched on from the side.

The two children comforted each other as they promised to keep the reason for Cang Xuan’s injuries from Xiao Yao’s mother.

So that is why nobody is aware of the bullying.

I have to say it here, anyone reading this post, no matter if you are a child, teen or adult, if you are a victim of bullying, either physically or emotionally, do not internalize it and fight it alone. Reach out to friends and family. Adults are supposed to worry over you. Make them worry! That is what family is for.
If it so happens you are alone, society and community should be there for you. So please, reach out.
Don’t follow what Cang Xuan and Xiao yao are doing!

Xiling Heng is crying, as she finished writing something into books that are named Classic of herbs and Classic of poisons. She magically keeps them inside a pretty trinket.

Cang Xuan woke up and she told him she has been chosen to fight the war on behalf of Xiyan. He is upset at his grandfather for making her go, Are there no men capable of fighting the war?

Xiling Heng does something rather morbid, which is to give the dagger that Cang Xuan’s mother killed herself with to him. It was a wedding gift from King of Haoling for his parents’ wedding – also a strange thing to gift for a marriage, is there some reason behind it?

She then charges Cang Xuan the task of ‘defending and protecting’. I suppose as deities, these children might have lived for hundreds of years already but it is still quite weird to me for them to demand their children to take on such tasks when they themselves have limited resources to do the very same.

She cryptically told Cang Xuan that “Xiao Yao is different from you“. Whatever could she mean?

Promises and waiting only brought news of her mother’s death on the battle field. But this sacrifice ended the war because the enemy’s General also perished and they could not recover from this defeat.

The Xiyan King split up the children, by sending Xiaoyao to Mount Jade, to learn under the Queen Mother. The King told Cang Xuan that it is a simple and isolated place, and she will train Xiaoyao since she is friends with his grandmother.

It is to keep Xiaoyao safe. Cang Xuan begs his grandfather not to send her away, but the King realistically pointed out to him that he can’t protect Xiaoyao at all.

The day for Xiaoyao to leave for Jade Mountain came all too soon. The children both put on brave faces as they bid each other farewell and promise to meet again. They hid their tears until they were out of sight of each other.

TIME JUMP : 300 years later

A storyteller is recapping the tale of the two orphans, but he is being an unreliable narrator.

Someone seems to know exactly what went down and corrected him under ‘his’ breath.

This person called Liu ge is some kind of successful fertility doctor. Seems popular and well liked by most of the villagers.

According to the story teller, young Cang Xuan was sent to Haoling as a hostage not long after Xiaoyao left, where he grew up to enjoy an easy, carefree life. Xiao liu has a sad smile as he listened to this.

We then cut to the grown up Cang Xuan, gazing sadly at the fox tail in his hand.
Contrary to what the storyteller just said, he definitely has not forgotten about Xiaoyao after three hundred years of living in Haoling. He hides the tail away when someone in the carriage calls him ‘brother’, so it is now obvious that this is something he hides from others.

These people arrived at Qingshui town, which is a free zone in Dahuang that belongs to neither Xiyan nor Haoling.

Brother Xiaoliu is not only a fertility doctor, but apparently quite skilled at midwifery.
He successfully delivered a basket full of rabbits for the rabbit demon.

At around this same time, Cang Xuan saw a young girl with a flower mark on her forehead, and gave chase. When he realized it was only a fashion ornament, he looks on about him at the girls all wearing similar designs.
Will be really find Xiaoyao here?


As far as first episodes go, this drama did manage to capture my full attention with the fast pace and rather refreshing twists. How often do you see a ‘military sabotage’ trope so quickly taken care of? Usually that kind of plot point will be the hero’s revenge journey, but Cang Xuan’s mother handled that plot point with lightning efficiency.

For a xianxia, this drama is not excessively flashy with spiritual energies shooting here and there.
Especially in episode one, it feels strangely grounded more like a wuxia drama.

Cinematography is quite beautiful and pleasing. The sets are not completely CG which adds that subtle richness to every scene.

The many characters introduced in this episode, did not have alot of screen time but they made the most of what they had and was able to leave a deep impression. The child actors were particularly impressive, and I was quite emotional over their misfortunes.

Story wise, there seems to be no prophecy of doom which is a huge plus for me.

The royal family seem dysfunctional with the usual palace politics.
The King of Xiyan has many sons and many grandchildren, so Cang xuan was not cherished even though his father had sacrificed himself for the nation. and allowed to become an outcast.
Xiao yao’s mother does not tell her anything and the children are made to take on heavy things beyond their age. How can she tell a child to swear to protect another, when the adult herself is incapable of protecting them?

There is no trusted guardian to keep watch over the children while Xiling Heng is away.
They must really be short-handed and have no one trustworthy at all to depend on. I suppose extracting that promise from Cang Xuan is an act of desperation in itself. Honestly though, did she even think its possible for a child without any backing or favor, to be able to protect her daughter?

It is also established that deities seem very much mortal, in the sense that they fall sick or get killed like normal humans. In this episode alone, we have at least 6 deaths – Cang xuan’s parents, the Nineth prince, Granny who was ill and succumbed to grief and finally Xiao Yao’s mother and Chen Rong’s General.

In the first episode, three mothers passed.
They made their choices, and left behind their defenseless young to fend for themselves in the world. Granny’s death was not by choice since her health seemed poorly, but Cang Xuan’s mother died for love and Xiaoyao’s mother died for country.

There is running theme about abandonment and unkept promises that will continue in the later episodes.

What did you like about the first episode and its pacing?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Biard Sonia's avatar Biard Sonia says:

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    Liked by 1 person

    1. admin's avatar admin says:

      It’s my great pleasure! Please have a fun discussion! ^^

      Like

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